


Pieces of You

by berryboys



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 14:49:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8582557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryboys/pseuds/berryboys
Summary: Taeil is the one who initiates skinship, the one who leans his head on Youngho’s thighs or the one who stares at him for too long as to discover his secrets. Youngho is afraid that whatever they have, it’s so fragile that it will vanish if he mentions it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [koshitsu_kamira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/koshitsu_kamira/gifts).



> Betaed by [koshitsu_kamira](http://archiveofourown.org/users/koshitsu_kamira)! And this is for her, too, because she got me into johnil in the first place.

Youngho knows this isn’t the most ethical thing ever.

 

In order to feel guiltless, he blames this on his best friend, because after all it’s always Taeyong who drags him to the omega zone without asking for his consent first. Not that Youngho would protest that much in any case. Both of them have too many responsibilities, both alphas, both born into powerful families and expected to take on important roles for the pack in the future. Both of them need a moment of peace from time to time, and there’s nothing better than omegas’ pheromones to calm them down.

 

Indeed, no one expected Taeyong and Youngho to befriend each other. And if they were consistent with their nature, the only relationship between them would be a sane feud until one of them occupied Taeyong’s father’s position. The truth is that Youngho never cared much about it. Although his dad is and will be the second of Taeyong’s father until the day of his death, Youngho doesn’t feel the urge to claim the position once his dad dies. While Youngho has made his intentions clear before, Taeyong has never spoken a word about it, and deep inside Youngho suspects his friend doesn’t want to be the Head Alpha either. It’s unavoidable that a pack develops expectations towards their future leaders, but sometimes Taeyong is visibly overwhelmed, trained until he can barely walk by himself and forced to attend the pack members’ petitions every weekend.

 

That is the main reason Youngho never rejects Taeyong when he comes up with one of his absurd plans, like sitting in the garden of an omega residence in the middle of the night. They are rarely allowed to be around omegas or betas, not for their own rank, but because of the families they come from, and maybe because of the evident effect omegas and betas have on alphas. Any type of link with other ranks is excessively supervised, and Youngho is aware that no one wants them to fall for a mate who is unworthy of the position and unskilled in fighting. They are permitted to fall in love as long as their mate is capable of managing a position of power, but often Youngho thinks that it would be nice to have omega and beta friends, just friends, without considering anything further.

 

Yet all those worries are meaningless as they lie down on the grass of the omega residence. The scent is hypnotizing, several different fragrances mixed in the air, and Youngho’s legs tremble as soon as they step into the facility. When Taeyong smiles at him with a hint of mischievousness, extending his limbs over the grass, Youngho knows the choice of residence wasn’t arbitrary.

 

“I’m starting to think you like trouble,” Youngho comments, watching how Taeyong’s eyes crinkle up in happiness. Truth to be told, he understands him to some extent: no matter how problematic it is, he must find compensation on how his body reacts to a _certain_ omega boy. “He better be sleeping.”

 

However, there are still lights on inside some of the bedrooms, and if Taeyong is as obvious as Youngho thinks, they are right under the boy’s window. The residence isn’t one of the big ones, and Youngho calculates that it has capacity to accommodate around thirty omegas, so it wouldn’t be hard for Taeyong to find the right window. Needless to say, this kind of houses forbid the entrance of other ranks, since it works as a safe space for those who lost their family or came from outer packs. There are residences for alphas and betas, too, but Taeyong has never brought him to one for evident reasons.

 

“He’s not,” Taeyong replies after a while, eyes fluttering shut. He wiggles his way to Youngho until he’s resting his head on his friend’s stomach, but Youngho doesn’t say anything at the contact.  “I can smell him.”

 

Taeyong doesn’t add any remark why, and it isn’t necessary for Youngho to comprehend him. It isn’t long until Youngho is able to tell the scent apart from the others’ as well, and even if he should be worried about it, he isn’t. Soon a door creaks open, and Taeyong sits up too quick to not lose his pride in the process, gaze drifting towards the noise. Youngho imitates him, still relaxed by the omegas’ scents, in time to see Doyoung’s recognizable figure, tall and slender, striding to them.

 

There are no greetings once Doyoung reaches them, and even though his features are clouded by the darkness, both his smell and his voice are enough signs of his irritation, “Who gave you permission to get into our residence?”

 

“Doyoung,” Taeyong solemnly says, standing up. Unlike other members of the pack, Doyoung doesn’t flinch, untroubled under Taeyong’s presence. He has a stance that exudes security, regardless of who is in front of him, and Youngho guesses that’s one of the things Taeyong likes about him. “This is my pack. I can go wherever I want.”

 

It’s not the first time Youngho witnesses this argument. In fact, they always end up fighting about the same topic, about how Taeyong oversteps boundaries or is being irresponsible. Though in his defense, he only misbehaves when it comes to Doyoung, and he does it on purpose to get his attention. He has a flawless conduct otherwise.

 

“This isn’t your pack _yet_ ,” Doyoung bites back, arms crossed. Youngho chokes a laugh in the back of his throat, and Taeyong glares at him anyway for encouraging Doyoung to disrespect him. “And if it was, that doesn’t mean you can take our privacy away. You’re stinking. And you triggered one of our omegas’ heat.”

 

That information leaves Taeyong petrified, not because he’s not aware of his own pheromones, but because he isn’t supposed to trigger anyone’s heat unless they are his destined mate. Youngho feels just as numb, and he can’t imagine how Doyoung must be feeling right now.

 

Maybe because Taeyong doesn’t seem capable of answering, it’s Youngho who finally says, “He did _what_?”

 

When Doyoung looks at him, he isn’t pissed anymore. His lower lip is slightly trembling, which he tries to conceal by biting down on it, and Youngho has the need of holding him tight. Taeyong has been chasing after Doyoung for so long that it has been impossible for him not to get his hopes up. Youngho knows he is the reason Taeyong isn’t fond of becoming the Head Alpha, and he always supposed they would be together some day. But Taeyong having a designed mate changes everything.

 

“You heard it,” Doyoung mutters.

 

Out of his daze, Taeyong closes the distance between them, tugging at his sleeve, but Doyoung shakes him off immediately. “That’s ridiculous. You know I stink because _you_ are around.”

 

Youngho hurries to stand up as well, to grab Taeyong’s arm so that he doesn’t try to approach Doyoung again. Perhaps Taeyong is too affected to smell anything right now, but Youngho isn’t, so he can distinguish the subtle aroma of an upcoming attack. Doyoung isn’t receptive, and he’s disposed to hurt Taeyong if he dares to touch him. Youngho finds odd that even though it’s Doyoung who is about to snap, his nature pushes him to protect the omega instead of siding with Taeyong.

 

“Get out of here or I’m telling your father about this,” Doyoung warns him, conscious of the consequences that would bring.

 

He disappears in the silence and the darkness of the garden, leaving them behind, just as broken as he is.

 

 

 

 

In times like these, Youngho is more scared than Taeyong could ever be. Exchanging looks, they both know that what has just happened is a secret from now on. And Youngho isn’t inclined to betray his friend, he doesn’t want to push him to meet another omega when he only has Doyoung in his mind. However, sooner or later, Taeyong will have to. Destined mates exist for a reason: they are the happiest when they are together and bonded, and even if Taeyong would rather stay by Doyoung’s side, it will bring both of them unnecessary pain.

 

So Youngho keeps silence for one week, but then the tension and Taeyong’s misery win over him, and he does what he shouldn’t do: be a terrible friend.

 

His mornings are completely scheduled, and it’s only after three hours of combat training that he’s allowed to have the first break, which happens to be the only moment in the day he’s completely free. His fight partner is Jaehyun, another alpha that acquired a high rank thanks to his skills, not his family; that’s the reason Youngho is forced to compete against him, since the only way to improve is to battle the best ones. After two years together, Youngho still has a horrible proportion of won fights against Jaehyun.

 

Given that Jaehyun comes from a less honored family, he has a normal life: he attended mixed schools, lives with his beta boyfriend, and has multiple connections and rights that Youngho doesn’t. Youngho trusts him, and he’s exactly what he needs.

 

“Hey,” Youngho calls him as Jaehyun lies down to rest, forehead damp with sweat. Their usual fighting area is a forest clearing situated at the territorial border of another pack, but they have never been too worried about it. Right now, Youngho is way more concerned about not sounding too culpable so that Jaehyun doesn’t get nervous at his request. “Do you think you could help me to get into one of those… _festivals_ you guys have?”

 

Jaehyun glances at him in interest, serious, as if he’s considering if it’s a joke. He’s conscious Youngho requires authorization to have contact with other ranks, and the doubt that shines in his eyes is almost fearful. Even though they are close friends, maybe he’s afraid Youngho is trying to trick him into prohibited business. It wouldn’t be the first test he had to pass to have access to Youngho and his rank.

 

“Why?” Jaehyun questions him, uneasy.

 

It’s logical that Jaehyun doesn’t understand why he wishes to be on one of their festivals. They’re anything but mass meetings for the young part of the pack, an unofficial version of the mating season. They’re held almost every month. Youngho isn’t naïve enough to believe that everyone goes there to find their final mate; he knows they’re looking to have fun, meet other ranks and fool around. Still, that’s an event he has never experienced and probably never will. Even now, that isn’t his intention.

 

“I need to talk to Doyoung,” Youngho confesses in a low voice. “And… to another omega whose name I don’t know.”

 

Before replying, Jaehyun glances around, checking there’s no one near them. The air is clean of other scents, and when he gazes again at Youngho, his trust in him is back. “What is this about?”

 

Although Jaehyun sounds a bit reticent, Youngho smiles at him, knowing he’s not going to deny him the chance. “Promise me you will lend me a hand. And I will tell you everything.”

 

 

 

 

Youngho regrets the idea when the date of the festival comes around. He’s not used to dealing with strangers, particularly ones that are going to recognize him right away, and he’s not good at lying either. When Taeyong shows up at his house, after one of his tiring days, Youngho has no idea how he’s going to get rid of him. It’s improper that he’s hiding his plans from Taeyong, but ditching Taeyong while he vents about his family would be a new level of being despicable.

 

“Can you believe this woman wanted to get her son into the hunting group? A ten-year-old?” Taeyong grumbles as soon as Youngho opens the door, and steps in without greeting him first. None of them has had to worry about manners at each other’s house, since they are usually empty: a powerful family in a pack means an empty house and disjointed relationships, their parents always working. In the end, Taeyong is the closest to a family Youngho has. “And my father wanted to accept. But of course it’s me who would have to see that kid dying later.”

 

Youngho closes the door with a sigh and follows Taeyong, who is heading to the kitchen. By the time he catches up, Taeyong is already unceremoniously bringing food out; he is always extremely hungry, given that they must feed the rest of the pack before eating themselves.

 

“What did you do?”

 

He loves hunting, and so does Taeyong, but it wouldn’t be the first time someone passes away during a hunt. It’s a daily task, and it doesn’t have to be dangerous, yet sometimes lone wolves get the territories mixed and attack them. Or sometimes one of them crosses the borders with other packs and they never come back.

 

Taeyong jumps onto the closest chair and sends him a feline smile, “I threatened her ass when my father wasn’t around.”

 

It’s not a surprise for Youngho, since his friend doesn’t have the conventional behavior of a leader. Not that he would point it out when Youngho himself isn’t very experienced at treating people.

 

“The definition of chivalry,” Youngho jokes, sitting by his side.

 

They are used to each other’s presence, so talking isn’t necessary while Taeyong devours the food. Youngho observes him in silence and provides him some napkins when his friends gets stains on his face, but he isn’t as calm as he looks on the outside. He arranged meeting Jaehyun fifteen minutes ago; in fact, he was about to leave the house when Taeyong appeared out of nowhere.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Taeyong asks him, squinting. Pupils dilated, he takes in Youngho’s expression, and though he tries to appear as neutral as he was before, Taeyong still concludes, “You are hiding something for me.”

 

The credible reaction would be laughing it off immediately which, of course, Youngho doesn’t do. He’s too transparent, can’t help his uneasiness under his friend’s stare. How would he justify his plans, anyway? He can’t just confess he’s going to break the rules in a desperate attempt to fix Taeyong’s problems. It would hurt his pride, and Taeyong would have trouble forgiving him.

 

Gulping, Youngho forces a lie through his lips, “Well, I’m…”

 

He never finishes the sentence, almost like the universe is assisting him. There are voices coming from outside, and Taeyong’s head snaps towards the sound as if he had just detected a prey. It’s a consequence of the scents that the owners of the voices bring with them: a beta and an omega, both of them unknown to Youngho, and judging Taeyong’s curiosity, also to him. However, a part of Youngho knows this is his way out, because no one in their right mind would dare to lurk around his house.

 

Before he can process the situation, Taeyong is running to the door, pulling it almost in sync with the knocking coming from outside. Youngho hurries after him, and when he looks over his friend’s shoulder, there are two boys staring straight at him. From up close, Youngho identifies Jaehyun’s scent on one of them; it’s his first time meeting Jaehyun’s mate, Ten, but the way the boy is looking at him is a warning not to make evident they haven’t met before.

 

“Jaehyun sent us because you were missing,” the other one says, a tall, yet delicate omega, and those words are the signal Youngho is expecting. The omega’s smile is anything but timid, and he only dedicates Taeyong a glance before centering his attention on Youngho again. “Like, why are you ditching me on our first date?”

 

At this point, Taeyong has his mouth open, eyes fixed on the omega in front of him, while Youngho is red in the face. He shouldn’t be, because after all this is a clear set up for him to go to the festivals. It’s a smart move from Jaehyun considering Taeyong believes it. It would make sense for Youngho to be reserved about something like this: they aren’t used to talking about love or dating, other than Taeyong gushing about Doyoung. When it comes to this topic, Youngho feels like a kid.

 

“You have a date and you didn’t tell me?” Taeyong mutters, amazed. He turns around, a tinge of disappointment in his voice, but he seems awed overall. “I’m so jealous.”

 

The omega laughs at that, recognizing the compliment, and wraps his hand around Youngho’s wrist. With the guy hauling him, Youngho only has time to croak out an affected _sorry_ to Taeyong. His friend, however, smiles sweetly and whispers, “Shit, have fun.”

 

 

 

 

The omega’s name is Sicheng, and he only holds Youngho’s hand until they’re out of Taeyong’s sight. Then, he complains for fifteen minutes straight about how he smells of Youngho now, even if he doesn’t, and assures that his boyfriend’s scent is much better than his. Youngho is shocked at first, for no one treats him so harshly in his circle of acquaintances, but he supposes he should get used to be talked as if he’s a normal member of the pack. It’s what he has always desired, anyhow.

 

Not far away, Jaehyun is waiting for them, arms crossed and exuding smugness.

 

“Was Taeyong too upset?” he jokingly says, patting Youngho on the back. When he only receives a shrug as an answer, Jaehyun continues, “You’re doing this for him, don’t feel bad.”

 

Jaehyun is right, but the thing is that Youngho has his head in the clouds, and he’s not pondering about Taeyong anymore once they arrive at the festival. He wishes he could excuse himself, attribute his dazed state to the fact that he hasn’t been around so many omegas in his whole life, yet that’s not enough to mitigate his guilt.

 

This time, the festival is held at the beach, and Youngho only has seen so much people during the mating season; the difference is the festival is more limited in age, given that there is barely anyone over thirty. Nevertheless, there is no doubt that the most troublesome fact is, indeed, the scents, and Youngho is unable to stop inhaling, giving into his instinct right away.

 

Ten is the first one to take off his shoes and run over the sand, jumping towards one group of people that, given his loud greetings, he must know. Unlike him, Jaehyun is slower, though he observes his mate with a fondness that is foreign to Youngho, accustomed to the heartless boy that tumbles him down every day. Youngho imitates him, not sure of what he’s supposed to do next. It’s obvious he can’t hang out with Jaehyun, his mate and their friends. He came to the festival to have the chance of finding Doyoung, and even if he’s terrified of confronting a beach full of strangers, hundreds of them, he can find strength thinking about Taeyong. This is for his friend, and for himself too: he’s going to occupy a position of power some day, and he should be brave enough to be around the people he’s going to manage.

 

“Do you want me to keep you company?” Sicheng suddenly proposes with a scrutinizing gaze.

 

Jaehyun has left them behind, or rather Sicheng has decided to dedicate Youngho a moment, and it isn’t until he notes the worry in Sicheng’s voice that he _realizes_. He’s trembling a little, anxious, and no one except an omega would notice it in his pheromones. Youngho has never had a tight control over his pheromones, but it has never been a problem until now, when he’s facing a new intense situation.

 

“I’ll be okay on my own,” Youngho refuses, sending him a reassuring smile. “And you wouldn’t want my scent on you, right?”

 

With a soft laughter, Sicheng nudges him on the arm. “Right. You don’t smell that bad, if that helps. Just don’t go near omegas like _this_.”

 

Minutes later, while strolling through the beach, Youngho discovers that’s a difficult task. There are omegas everywhere, and sometimes he just has to pass by to make a head turn to glance at him. It isn’t his main concern, however, because people start recognizing him and he has no option but to convince some of them to keep their mouth shut. It’s the first time he’s putting his authority to use, and as he inspects the faces around him, he curses Doyoung for not being as compliant as the rest. Any other person would probably follow Taeyong’s orders like a religion, but Doyoung has complicated things for both of them since day one, when Taeyong introduced himself during an official event.

 

Therefore, Youngho is aware that being logical won’t work with Doyoung. Mainly because it’s ridiculous to court or be courted by someone who has a destined mate, and Doyoung will never be convinced of even trying. Youngho’s strategy is going for the pain, for the jealousy, even though it’s dangerous to play with such emotions.

 

When Youngho examines his surroundings, he can’t concentrate. He’s drowned in flirty stares and smiles, enticing scents, and pheromones released on purpose to catch his attention, and it takes him a very short second to admit he should have accepted Sicheng’s company. Having an omega by his side would have banished the rest, if not the curious questions about what brings Youngho here. As he starts losing hope, he decides to sniff the air the most discreet way possible. He isn’t sure if his mind is playing tricks on him, confusing him out of desperation, but he catches Doyoung’s scent, far away and very weak, and doesn’t hesitate before striding after it.

 

Thanks to his bad luck, he barely makes it past the first group. Not because he physically can’t though, but because he hears a voice, an amazing, mellow voice that drives him to halt. That voice, sweet but mature, whispers a thrilling, “You smell terribly good, _big boy_.”

 

There’s a tiny boy behind him when Youngho turns around, one of the tiniest omegas he has seen around. Despite looking young, it’s evident he’s not a pup, or that he hasn’t recently been one. It’s not only about his appearance, but about his scent, and Youngho wishes he hadn’t noticed that small detail. If the stranger considers Youngho’s smell fascinating, Youngho can’t even explain with words how his scent obscures his thoughts. And it’s not only that: it’s that gaze, round innocent eyes fixed on him, and plump lips that Youngho stares at like enchanted.

 

“I’m-” Youngho croaks out, but no more words come out. What is he going to say, anyway? That he knows he smells good, like a teenager in rut because he has had zero contact with young, pretty omegas like the one in front of him before?

 

Upon Youngho’s bewilderment, a smile blooms on the boy’s face. It’s not a friendly one. It’s powerful, controlling, and even if Youngho has been taught to have the upper hand in any situation, he’s disarmed. The boy steps forward, and Youngho just observes him in awe, up close. And then there are fingers wrapping around his wrist, breath hitching, and words that he can’t understand. When he looks into the stranger’s eyes, there’s disconcert in them too, so Youngho is sure that the touch has enticed something. Not only in him.

 

 “What are you doing here so alone?” the boy asks, serious, fingers trailing down Youngho’s wrist veins.

 

Without the question, Youngho would have hardly remembered his original task. He isn’t going to lie: the only thing he needs right now is this omega to bring him home and open his legs for him. It’s all instinct, and Youngho _hates_ it. He hates not being in charge of his own wishes, of the good decisions and the thoughts that matter. Sex is just sex. It doesn’t solve important problems, doesn’t cure his friend’s pain.

 

“Actually,” Youngho starts, pulling away. The other laughs at his attempt, as though he’s a child trying to avoid a punishment, or as though he’s the first shy alpha he has encountered. “I’m looking for someone.”

 

“You found someone,” he delicately replies, but his eyes roam over Youngho’s body with other intentions, far from that apparent fragility.

 

Youngho understands that this omega has no restraint. He has no reason to suppress his instincts, unlike him, whose duty is contradicting the temptation. Hence, he’s the responsible one to reject him. And on a second thought, it’s crazy he even thought of taking this boy, of jumping into that subtle invitation; he just _can’t_ , if anyone spread something like that around the pack…

 

Like an animal in a cage, Youngho recoils, setting a decent distance between them. That just seems to cheer the boy further, and then with his eyebrows furrowed, Youngho spats, “Don’t you know who I am?”

 

The momentary confusion on his expression is enough of an answer. Youngho feels like laughing out of the blue, because he should have deduced it earlier: no one from his pack would dare to hit on him so shamelessly. They might admire him, fear him, or sexually yearn for him in secret, but for sure they wouldn’t cross the line of respect.

 

“Should I?”

 

Youngho has recovered his confidence now, and he’s about to interrogate the omega as to why he can’t recognize his leaders, when they are interrupted. Doyoung emerges from behind the boy, mouth open and a notable scowl on his face, and grabs the boy by the back of his neck.

 

“Youngho?” he mutters, horrified. The alpha can’t tell what has him so upset about his presence, because he’s more troubled by the fact that the other omega becomes calm within a second, pretending he wasn’t all over Youngho a moment ago. “Taeil, what the fuck are you doing?”

 

“What?”

 

Still with his attention on Youngho, Doyoung answers through gritted teeth, “He’s Taeyong’s Second. Get the fuck out of here.”

 

It’s shocking to witness how fast Taeil obeys. Youngho doesn’t miss the look of terror that the omega shoots at him before hurrying up, losing himself among groups of people and campfires. He follows his figure until it’s gone, and then he loses the scent too, and Youngho feels extremely misplaced. As if he’s meant to chase after the omega.

 

However, it isn’t hard to spot Doyoung in front of him, glaring without pity. Reading Youngho’s mind, his lips curve up in a bitter smile as he says, “Isn’t Taeyong’s mate pretty?”

 

 

 

 

The omega residence is immersed in silence when Youngho and Doyoung arrive. It’s the first time Youngho is inside one of them, but much to his surprise, it isn’t as bad as the festival; despite being clouded with omegas’ scents, they don’t affect Youngho that much, maybe because Doyoung is next to him and he knows how to keep alphas in line.

 

Youngho didn’t need to ask Doyoung to bring him to the residence. In fact, it was him who pulled Youngho by the wrist all the way, grip so strong that he couldn’t even protest. Yet now, when they are sitting face to face in the living room under the dim light of a lamp, Youngho isn’t sure how he should start. Doyoung oozes distress, melancholic eyes, and Youngho feels terrible for what he’s about to do.

 

“Did you lose your mind?” Doyoung scolds him as soon as they make eye contact. “Do you think people won’t talk about you being at the festival?”

 

He isn’t that concerned about the gossip. In the end, Youngho’s word has more value than whoever’s who was at the beach, and they wouldn’t dare to contradict a higher up. Power has its inconveniences, but also its advantages.

 

“I had to do it,” Youngho objects. “You were nowhere to find.”

 

With a sigh, Doyoung rubs his forehead. He seems tired and stressed, and Youngho would take care of him if he wasn’t so stubborn. “If Taeyong sent you, my answer is the same. Youngho, you know it makes no sense for me to be in his life,” he reasons, avoiding looking at his face. “It’s unnecessary pain for both of us if he has a perfect mate for him.”

 

Biting his lip, Youngho wonders if it’s the moment to spit his lies. As always, Doyoung is reasonable, even if that goes against his own interests, and therefore Youngho needs to set the cards on the table. Doyoung is closed up, and he has a special way of being obstinate.

 

“I’m not here to convince you. I’m here because you’re right, and Taeyong needs to meet his mate,” Youngho says, placing his hands on his thighs to conceal the trembling: he isn’t a good liar. “You seem to know Taeil well.”

 

Affirming Doyoung is shocked would be an understatement. Although he usually has the skill to mask his emotions, this time he can’t hide how much that hurts him. Youngho is aware that he must be troubled by the possibility this is Taeyong’s request, that he wants to accept his real mate and is giving up on Doyoung. That he wasn’t so captivated by him, after all.

 

Doyoung might have insisted on rejecting Taeyong, but his true feelings aren’t a secret for anyone.

 

“You were ogling him,” Doyoung points out then, defensive. Youngho is expecting this type of reaction, for he has no weapons left except attacking him. With a caustic smile, he continues, “What does he have for you high alphas to be so stuck on him?”

 

“I wasn’t-“ Youngho attempts, defending himself before realizing it’s useless to deny it. He did ogle Taeil, but so did Taeil, and it wasn’t on purpose, just inevitable. The encounter with Taeil has been engraved within him so hard that Youngho can replay it from beginning to end, and it feels _right_. “Look, that’s not the point. He didn’t know who I was, how is it possible?”

 

Doyoung is still tense, arms and legs crossed, as he explains, “He has come from another pack a month ago. I told him about Taeyong when he triggered his heat. He says he doesn’t like him.”

 

Youngho arches a brow, suspecting Doyoung might be lying to him. “He doesn’t know him.”

 

The other just shrugs, and then leans back on the small couch. He has halted his pheromones’ release so that Youngho can’t speculate anything from them, and Youngho has never dealt with Doyoung in this state, so harsh, so defiant. “Do you realize you were disposed to sleep with your best friend’s mate?”

 

“You’re going overboard,” Youngho warns him straightaway, becoming stiff. He would rather make this smooth for him, but Doyoung isn’t leaving him any option. As he stands up and hovers over Doyoung, he has already taken a decision. “It’s an order for both of you. You will tell him to come to meet Taeyong the day after tomorrow. No complaints.”

 

 

 

 

It’s not a good sign that Youngho forgot he has to attend a welcoming party the next morning, a formal meeting with another pack that is just an excuse to do business. He has no role there except entertaining the guests, and so does Taeyong, while their parents take care of the negotiations. It’s not important that the other pack forces their sons and daughters to come along to socialize with the youngsters of Youngho’s pack, always with the hope that a new link can born. During Youngho’s whole life, he has flirted with tons of outsiders, but he hasn’t liked any of them enough to repeat the occasion. In his opinion, those set-ups are useless.

 

Therefore, at first both Taeyong and Youngho are efficient at what they were asked to do, but as soon as no one is watching them, they sneak out to the big gardens of Taeyong’s house. Jaehyun, who catches them escaping, throws them a desperate glance because a girl is boring him to death with one of her stories.

 

“I’m sorry,” Youngho whispers as he passes by, aware that he can’t help him without getting entangled in the conversation.

 

Out of the meeting, Taeyong leads him to a zone that can’t be spotted from the house, and they lie down on the grass amidst laughter, like two teenagers that love getting into trouble.

 

“How was your date?” Taeyong inquires, rolling over onto his stomach.

 

“Oh?” Youngho mutters, and it takes him a while to remember Taeyong believes he went out with Sicheng last night. “He has a mate.”

 

His friend examines him with half of a smirk, as though he supposes Youngho is toying with him. “He has… what?” he blurts out, laughing. “Are you into threesomes now?”

 

“That’s not funny,” Youngho protests, even if he finds himself smiling at Taeyong’s amused expression.  “Jaehyun says his mate is mad at me because Sicheng had my scent on him. And the mate is an omega, you know how ridiculously protective they can be.”

 

Taeyong hums, like pitying him, and doesn’t pry further. He could ask dozens of questions that Youngho wouldn’t be able to answer without being caught in a lie, such as why he hid Sicheng’s existence from his best friend. But Taeyong must sense he prefers not talking about it, and he’s kind enough to not make him uncomfortable.

 

“What are you going to do?” Youngho dares to say, though he does it in the most sensitive way possible. He threads his fingers through Taeyong’s hair, and the other alpha sighs at the touch, pleased. It’s a sign of weakness, and Taeyong only shows it when they are alone; Youngho knows he only has intimate contact with him, and like any other alpha, he craves it sometimes too. “With Doyoung, I mean.”

 

“I’m afraid he will tell my parents, I can’t do anything,” Taeyong reminds him, almost like he’s about to scold him. Then, with honesty, he confesses, “I just want to be with him.”

 

Pheromones are a cruel part of their nature sometimes, and this is just an example of it. It was obvious that, if Taeyong hadn’t triggered Taeil’s heat, Doyoung would be open to the possibility of being his mate. However, the pack has old, firm beliefs about destined mates, and Youngho understands why he’s resisting now. Their relationship would be frowned upon if Taeil spoke up about the topic.

 

Youngho wants to tell Taeyong that he will be with Doyoung, but he wouldn’t make false promises.

 

 

 

 

“I need your help.”

 

Dismissing the need of greeting each other formally, those are the first words Youngho says to Jaehyun the next day. His friend is waiting at the clearing, sitting on the grass and sniffing the air like he’s on watch. He has a fresh aspect, ready for the training time. However, the alarm arises on his face when he processes what Youngho has told him, and he stands up to jab his index finger right into Youngho’s chest.

 

Not minding that Youngho is his superior, he blabbers, “I’m not bringing you to the festival. Do you know how many people are talking about you? There is going to be a flood next time just to see if you show up again! How are you going to explain to your parents? Think straight, Seo Youngho!”

 

Shocked, Youngho draws back before digesting the misunderstanding. Jaehyun seems disposed to bite the idea out of him if he intends to even propose it, and Youngho realizes how funny that is: Jaehyun is worried about his reputation, more than Youngho himself is. Even if he’s younger than him, it often feels like Jaehyun is his older brother.

 

“Calm down,” Youngho soothes him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Jaehyun is still glowering, as though he doesn’t trust him, but the contact dissipates some of his tension. “I only need to cancel this training, and also need you to make sure no one comes to the clearing. I agreed to meet Taeyong’s mate here.”

 

“I don’t know if this is better. You’re terrible,” Jaehyun laments.

 

Nevertheless, Youngho only has to do a bit of explaining for Jaehyun to accept. He doesn’t have any problem with protecting the perimeter around the clearing, but refuses to put as much distance as Youngho wants. He stays close enough to detect if something goes wrong, and though Youngho doesn’t think of Taeil as a danger, it’s a good decision. Taeil is an outsider, and he might look small and guileless, but it wouldn’t be the first time another pack sneaks in a menacing omega this way.

 

So Youngho stays in the clearing, muscles rigid in case he has to defend himself, until he catches Taeil’s scent in the air. Based on the intensity, he calculates the boy still has at least two minutes left to arrive, but it’s terrifying how Youngho’s mood changes.

 

The scent is like poison, leaves Youngho docile and hungry for contact, with the urge of playing chase. His legs tremble, because it’s happening again: he’s losing the control, a marionette subjected to omega pheromones, and Youngho doesn’t know anymore if this would happen with any omega or it’s just Taeil. And he wishes it isn’t the latter, for Taeil is meant to be with Taeyong, and the simple fact Youngho is on the verge of collapsing for him is so _wrong_.

 

When Taeil enters the clearing, he doesn’t approach Youngho. There’s hesitation in his steps, mistrust as he inspects his surroundings, like searching for someone else. Youngho can’t take his eyes off of him, however, because Taeil is much prettier in the daylight. Or maybe it’s just that Youngho can appreciate his beauty better, the delicacy of his features, his body language. The odd sharpness of his gaze.

 

When Taeil finally sets his eyes back on Youngho, the alpha would swear the ground moves under his feet. The charm is broken as, with his head up, he asks, “Where is Taeyong?”

 

“He isn’t here.”

 

Still staring at him without fear, Taeil licks his lips, pondering what that means. “I thought…”

 

“You don’t want to meet him, right?” Youngho interjects. He isn’t able to hide his curiosity, always behind the excuse that he’s trying to decide if Taeil is good for his friend. But, as selfish as it is, a part of him is happy Taeil isn’t prone to mate with Taeyong. “Why?”

 

Taeil shuffles around him slowly, trying to comprehend the situation. There’s less and less distance between them each second, but Taeil is alert and quick to drift away at any of Youngho’s movements.

 

Scannin Youngho up and down, he explains, “That destined mates thing is stupid. It doesn’t exist. It’s just your body telling you who you want to fuck.”

 

Even if Youngho has barely any information about Taeil, he would have never imagined he would be this forward. Omegas don’t use this type of speech, and Youngho has only heard alphas talk like this when there’s no one around – maybe the other ranks do too, but Youngho doesn’t have enough friends to verify it. Anyhow, it’s astounding to hear such words coming out from that little pretty boy in front of him, yet again, Taeil hasn’t grown up in his pack. And he seems oblivious, slightly amused, at why his explanation leaves Youngho mute.

 

“It isn’t stupid. It’s our culture,” Youngho points out.

 

He uses a tone that should advise Taeil to be more careful, but the Taeil just shrugs, and much to Youngho’s surprise, he sits down, all defenses fading away. “My old pack didn’t believe in it.”

 

Youngho is petrified for several seconds before deciding it would be better if he matches Taeil’s behavior. He needs him with an open mind, though Youngho isn’t that interested about insisting he should consider meeting Taeyong. Not anymore, anyway. So he imitates Taeil, whose eyes shine in diversion when Youngho settles in front of him.

 

“What happened in your old pack?”

 

Almost like he predicted the question, Taeil answers diligently. “I was deemed unfit for the pack.” Then, with the ghost of a smirk, he continues, “I’m not fond of obeying _leaders_.”

 

Somehow, it’s a challenge, but Youngho is unfazed. Taeil might try to scare him, dominate because he’s aware he’s at disadvantage if he compares himself with Youngho. Therefore, leaning towards Taeil, he whispers with arrogance, “You obeyed _me_.”

 

“You smell too good, big boy, to ignore your call,” Taeil replies, sliding forward until their knees touch. It’s an immediate reliever, a minimal contact that dispels Youngho’s tension and, judging Taeil’s calmness, also his. “I came because I wanted to. Aren’t you curious about me?”

 

“I-”

 

Perhaps Taeil predicts he is going to lie, because he leans towards him and Youngho loses the ability to talk. From up close, Taeil isn’t so intimidating; he’s soft, vulnerable eyes, a breathy voice that shows how much Youngho influences him too. They’re not that different.

 

“Your pupils are dilated just because I’m around. You say no, your pheromones say yes,” Taeil begins with a mutter.

 

Youngho gasps almost inaudibly when Taeil puts a finger on his lips, preventing him from interrupting, but then drags his lower lip down, and Youngho can taste him, his burning skin setting his insides on fire too. It shouldn’t be like this, Youngho shouldn’t feel attracted to Taeil, less to be aroused as he tenderly caresses him. At this point, he knows it’s Taeil: any other omega could touch him this way and Youngho wouldn’t feel the need of pushing them on his back. But he does now, he yearns to stroke Taeil, every inch of him, to sink his face in the crook of Taeil’s neck and drown in his aroma.

 

“You can lie with your mouth, but you can’t lie with your body,” Taeil concludes, a mischievous smile blooming on his face.

 

Youngho hates that he’s right.

 

 

 

 

It’s the first time they are alone, but it’s not the last. Youngho isn’t proud of his way of dealing with Taeil, mostly because he gives into the omega’s requests without using his head first. Before parting, Taeil proposes they should meet again, whispers that they must, that Youngho can’t stop _this_. And it’s the truth. Youngho has already gone too far. He skipped his training time to have a short conversation with Taeil, although he has never missed his schedule before. The desire dragged him to rebel against his parents’ rules, which means that it is stronger than him or his values or, a dark voice inside his mind suggests, Taeil is manipulating him.

 

Deep inside, he’s aware he never intended to introduce Taeil to Taeyong. He fooled Doyoung, fooled Taeil, and also himself into this trap. The omega isn’t very upset about it, though.

 

However, Jaehyun doesn’t approve his recklessness. It’s only during the training time that Youngho isn’t under someone’s surveillance (except for Jaehyun’s, of course, but it’s obvious he isn’t doing a good job), and his friend doesn’t complain beyond furrowing his eyebrows when Youngho announces he has to watch the perimeter again and again. It works at first, until the incident repeats for the third time on the same week, and Jaehyun blows up.

 

“No,” he refuses, arms crossed. Much to Youngho’s shock, he even shows a bit of teeth to make his threat serious. “You must train. If you’re disposed to risk your education for Taeil, you might as well risk your reputation and meet him at night. No one controls you while you sleep, right?”

 

“I can’t get an omega into my bedroom,” Youngho refutes, mouth open in disconcert. It must be easy for Jaehyun, since he’s mated, but Youngho shouldn’t even contemplate bringing Taeil into his room. “He’s going to think I want…”

 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes at the insinuation, “And you don’t?”

 

Even though it’s a rhetorical question, Youngho isn’t sure about it. He isn’t courting Taeil, for it’s improper, and whether Youngho is captivated by him or not, the problem about Taeyong is still there. Taeil is the one who initiates skinship, the one who leans his head on Youngho’s thighs or the one who stares at him for too long as to discover his secrets. He leads the conversations too, talks about his old pack, his old family and the two mates he has already had, and laughs when Youngho has weird reactions to his stories.

 

Taeil comes from a northern pack that is undergoing political conflicts, so there’s no wonder why he left – even if he invented another story to hide the reality. He smells like the forest after a storm, but his pheromones are the sweetest ones Youngho has ever scented; sometimes he smells of Youngho himself, and the alpha has no remedy but to stop contacting him for days straight until his scent disappears from Taeil. Yet, when Youngho is distracted Taeil doesn’t hesitate to rub his face against his arm, lured by the alpha’s pheromones. And Youngho brings Taeil’s scent to his home too, sleeps better, dreams of happy events, and feels on cloud nine.

 

It scares him, the idea of leaving their perfumes on each other without being conscious. It’s more than alarming. What if Taeyong recognizes his mate’s scent while he’s with Youngho? How is he going to justify that?

 

“This is killing you,” Jaehyun comments at the end of the training, having shoved an exhausted Youngho against the ground. Youngho groans in despair, unable to throw his friend off, and Jaehyun has the chance to lecture him further, “You are unable to function and focus. You have to tell Taeyong before you go crazy. Let them be free and decide what they want for themselves.”

 

“That’s the thing,” Youngho pants in an useless attempt to recover his breath. Jaehyun weighs less than him, but his strength is way greater, especially when he’s angry. “They know what they want right now. But I’m afraid their bodies will contradict them.”

 

Needless to say, they haven’t discussed that shared attraction again. It’s there, however, and Youngho is sure he’s not the only one who is utterly overwhelmed by it. There isn’t any reasons besides that why Taeil would be disposed to hear about Youngho’s life, or to reveal short stories about his own past. Youngho is afraid that whatever they have, it’s so fragile that it will vanish if he mentions it.

 

 

 

 

Only after almost a month, Youngho regains the courage to hang out with Taeil outside the clearing. He has pondered about the possibility too much, for too long, and it’s a topic that has brought long, sleepless nights. They need to be honest with each other, and Youngho believes he’s being egoistic by not leaving Taeil any option but to hide for him. The fear of being discovered remains, yet Youngho is tired of thinking about the consequences. He deserves to enjoy a bit, to experience the normality that Taeil has, or perhaps to close that gap between their lives.

 

Unsurprisingly, Youngho doesn’t express his thoughts in the most appropriate moment: he does one of those days in which he’s skipping training to spend some with Taeil. The omega has squirmed his way between his legs, resting his back against Youngho’s chest. It’s a warm day without clouds, and Taeil wears shorts and a simple t-shirt, while Youngho still has the uniform with the emblem of his family on. After Taeil has told him the story of how he presented as an omega, they’re in a comfortable silence, both of them watching how Taeil plays with Youngho’s fingers. He’s always entertained by the size difference, which amazes Youngho as well, though he’s never vocal about; he simply allows Taeil to hook their fingers together and endear him with sweet comments.

 

Maybe because Youngho feels at ease, he forgets his concerns and his responsibilities and whispers, “Is there any place you would want to go?”

 

Right away, Taeil snaps, turning his head to look at him with a hopeful shine in his gaze. Youngho’s words hold enough meaning for him to guess what he’s referring to. Instead of letting go of his hands, Taeil squeezes them a bit harder, as if Youngho could escape otherwise.

 

“Really?” he asks, unsure. When Youngho nods, the smile that appears on Taeil’s lips stuns him. Excited, he speaks so fast that his northern accent becomes evident, “I want to show you my residence. And there’s a restaurant nearby that is run by an independent association of hunters. They serve the best rabbit you will ever taste.”

 

Youngho laughs, but he doesn’t remind Taeil that he’s a hunter for the whole pack, and that on holidays, they keep the best pieces for themselves. Perhaps someday he could invite him over, when there’s no one else in the house.

 

“Okay,” Youngho accepts, and Taeil directs his attention to his hands again, humming contentedly. “It will have to be late in the night. So first the restaurant, and then the residence.”

 

 

 

 

It’s not a date, not on Youngho’s agenda, not because the guilt is going to devour him if he admits it. All of his life, he has managed to follow the protocol. He has been educated just like Taeyong, deprived of the small pleasures that a regular member of the pack has. And Taeyong broke away first, that’s for sure, maybe aware that his future was decided anyway and youth was the only chance to enjoy. Now Youngho is following, and he couldn’t care less about what may happen afterwards.

 

He wants to hold Taeil’s hand, stroll around the town without receiving stares, and wonder if he likes Taeil that much or it’s only a temporary feeling. He wants to make mistakes, or make the right decisions just by luck. Disappointing his parents is inevitable, mated or not, because Taeyong will always be ahead of him in power. Until this day, Youngho is convinced his friend will be a better Head Alpha than him, and that deep inside he wishes to take the position. If only Doyoung would accede to accompany him, to complete the puzzle.

 

But sneaking out of his house is another level, that implies actively disobeying and planning. Youngho knows exactly the location of each one of the guards around the perimeter, and they only work when his parents are away, as if Youngho couldn’t defend himself. Not that he could surpass a wolf like Jaehyun, to be honest, and in fact Jaehyun is sometimes assigned as a guard, which Youngho is grateful for on those nights Taeyong is busy.

 

Therefore, it’s easy to elude the guards, but as soon as he steps into one of the main streets, he realizes there are people everywhere. No matter what, he’s probably going to be recognized by someone, and he has to shake the tension off his shoulders before continuing. _This is for Taeil_ , he repeats in his mind, _this is for me_.

 

Taeil is on a bench right in front of the restaurant, and he looks so pretty, so calm that Youngho can’t breathe. He’s wearing a cotton white sweater and simple jeans, brown bangs that almost reach his eyes. Youngho is used to see Taeil with his hair up, but this way his eyes and his lips gain strength, and it’s harder for Youngho to concentrate: those are the eyes that leave him thunderstruck and the lips he’s dying for.

 

“You’re late,” Taeil whines, though his naughty smile shows he’s joking. When he stands up, the first thing he does is intertwine their hands together, casual, and Youngho swears the world around him spins too fast. Taeil laughs merrily, “Are you okay, big boy?”

 

Youngho coughs, pretty sure he’s blushing right now, “Better than ever.”

 

Instead of pressuring him, Taeil blinks and after a pause in which Youngho feels the heat on his cheeks, leads him to the restaurant. Youngho allows himself a moment to engrave in his memory the warmth of Taeil’s palm in his. Only able to stare at Taeil while he asks for a table for two, he misses the reason why Taeil chuckles all of a sudden and looks back at him.

 

“What?” Youngho says.

 

Taeil hides his face against Youngho’s arm, but the alpha doesn’t stop him, intoxicated by the laughter. Amused, Taeil murmurs against the fabric of his jumper, “I think the waiter peed his pants when he saw you.”

 

“Mmh. He should.”

 

Before Taeil can respond, another waitress shows up and leads them to an isolated table, as per their request. Only when the woman is gone, Taeil cracks a smirk at him across the table, “Since when are you this cocky?”

 

“I’m not cocky, that was the truth,” Youngho answers with a shrug. He’s delighted, almost proud as Taeil laughs at his joke, but he does a good job at pretending.

 

Even though they haven’t demanded it, the restaurant keeps their zone empty, reserved for them. While Youngho prefers it this way, he can’t disregard how the waiters are both intimidated and nervous every time they have to take care of them. Taeil giggles every time, touches Youngho under the table with his foot when he’s too agitated, and whispers promises Youngho has never heard before. Promises no one should know.

 

By the time they finish their dinner, all Youngho desires is Taeil. There’s nothing else except Taeil’s scent, pheromones seducing his senses and hooded, knowing glances exchanged. Taeil hooks their arms once they are outside, sticks to him and whimpers from time to time, so low that Youngho doesn’t know if he’s hallucinating.

 

“You’re so transparent,” Taeil observes while they saunter through the street. Youngho supposes the omega is trying to fill the silence with words, but when he gazes down at Taeil, his face perspires admiration and undeniable lust. “Maybe we should have gone straight to the residence.”

 

With a knot in his throat, Youngho has trouble to ask, “What do you mean?”

 

Taeil gasps a bit, softly, and closes his eyes as though he needs to compose himself. “Control your pheromones, Youngho.”

 

He isn’t aware until Taeil brings it up, and anyhow he has no idea how to stop his pheromones. In his daily life, he doesn’t have to. And now, seeing how they affect Taeil, how the omega grips him with trembling, impatient fingers, Youngho likes them. It alleviates his doubts, his shame for being so hung up on Taeil; he’s not alone in this.

 

Unlike the last time Youngho was in the omega residence, there are some girls and boys awake, playing and talking in the common rooms. They cross paths with several persons through the halls too, but unexpectedly they never check Youngho’s face. He notices, however, that all omegas glance at their hands and then look away, and Youngho wonders if it’s an intimacy code within the residence. That, or they are too embarrassed to make eye contact with an alpha that reeks of arousal.

 

“I don’t have a roommate yet,” Taeil announces as he fumbles for the keys. Youngho chuckles at Taeil’s sudden nervousness, but he still searches for the touch again, missing the grazing of Taeil’s skin against his. “I think they don’t trust me? Like they are afraid I will eat my roommate in the middle of the night or something like that.”

 

In Youngho’s opinion, the room is just big enough for one person, but he just nods. While he inspects the place, Taeil sits on his bed and stares at him, giving him the time he needs.

 

It’s evident Taeil ran away from his last pack. Either he had no time to bring a suitcase with his belongings, or he had little of them. Most of the clothes he wears have the emblem of Youngho’s pack, and that’s basically all Taeil owns. There is nothing that hints at his personality, what music he likes, how his childhood was, who his friends were. No photos, CDs or books.

 

However, as Youngho sets his gaze back on Taeil, he feels like they know each other on another level. There is that sensation that Taeil deduces his thoughts just by staring at him, and Youngho senses the same pull, the familiarity.

 

“Come here,” Taeil pleads with him, voice shaking.

 

Youngho doesn’t hesitate, but he’s still cautious about touching Taeil. It isn’t awkward, however, to be side to side with Taeil, sitting on his bed in silence. Hands laced together, Youngho realizes this isn’t normal: the omega isn’t manipulating him with his pheromones, but he has never been so serene in his life. There’s something about Taeil that belongs to him, that stabilizes him, and though it’s scary, it’s also comforting.

 

“I need you to promise me something,” Youngho announces, gulping.

 

“What?”

 

Taeil is gazing at him with attentive eyes, curious. If he wasn’t drawing soothing circles on the back of his hand, Youngho wouldn’t be brave enough to speak. “Promise you won’t fall for Taeyong.”

 

The answer isn’t immediate, yet for some reason, Youngho isn’t anxious. It’s as if he knows what Taeil will respond beforehand, but he had to materialize the question to hear it out loud and reassure himself. Taeil catches him by surprise when he climbs onto him, and as he shamelessly straddles him, Youngho is about to tumble backwards. It’s the omega who holds him in place, arms sliding around his neck. And he’s so close that Youngho can make out his heart beating, sure Taeil hears his too.

 

“I won’t fall for Taeyong,” Taeil whispers, leaning his forehead against Youngho’s. Both close their eyes, intoxicated by the proximity, as he adds in a mutter, “I promise.”

 

Just then, Youngho closes the little distance to his lips. It’s not a chaste kiss, not even in the beginning; if Taeil’s pheromones smelt good, then there’s no way to explain with words what Youngho tastes in his mouth. His lips are soft, seem to know each one of Youngho’s debilities, and when he tries to take some air, Taeil entangles his hands in his hair and brings him closer again, pressed together. In the silence of the room, the only sounds are Taeil’s low moans, vibrating against his lips, and the rushed breathing as Youngho slips his hands under the sweater.

 

But then the moans become whines, Taeil reacting to every touch, arching, and Youngho is suddenly conscious of what is happening. It takes an incredible amount of effort to break apart, gasping, and order, “Stop.”

 

Still, Taeil captures his lips once more before landing on his back on the bed, flushed cheeks and chest going up and down. Youngho can’t breathe either due to the concentrated pheromones in the room that asphyxiate him, invisible fingers squeezing around his lungs. That, and having Taeil, hot and gasping, on the bed with him.

 

Taeil draws a lazy, wrecked smirk, staring at Youngho with such obscenity that the alpha feels his blood flow faster. “Too much?” he asks, voice hoarse.

 

“No,” Youngho shakes his head, in part not to have to process Taeil’s state. He lets himself fall right next to him, and Taeil laughs, as though he comprehends perfectly what’s going on his mind. “That’s the problem, it’s not enough.”

 

Instead of interrogating him, Taeil gives him a simple peck on the cheek, sighing. He is smart enough not to pry in Youngho’s head at the moment to not pressure him, and grants him that piece of privacy that Youngho needs.

 

If he just knew. Taeil tastes so good in his mouth, Youngho can’t understand how he’s another person’s destined mate.

 

 

 

 

Youngho doesn’t sleep there. He waits for Taeil to fall asleep, snuggled between his arms, and leaves as quietly as possible. Taking into account  that Youngho didn’t warn he wouldn’t stay, he hopes Taeil isn’t very mad the next morning.

 

Again, none of them know when they will see each other. It depends on Jaehyun, on Youngho himself, and his obligations. Hunting is scheduled for the whole next two weeks, apart from the training, and that means a lot of time without Taeil, a lot of time to regret what happened. And to miss him.

 

After all, there’s only one person Youngho can discuss the topic with, unless until he stops being a coward and tells his best friend too. It takes him days to resort to Jaehyun once more, paranoid that maybe the other alpha is too fed up with him. Jaehyun assures him that they can share a _therapy session_ if he focuses on the training first, yet after one hour, he concludes it’s a fruitless blackmail. He makes Youngho sit in front of him and explain in detail what he did with Taeil, what he felt and what he perceived from him. Youngho is reticent at first, coy for having to describe something so intimate, but Jaehyun doesn’t let him off the hook.

 

When Youngho finishes the story, Jaehyun seems troubled, a frown on his face. “You didn’t prompt his heat?”

 

“By little. He says he’s on suppressants since the day… Taeyong triggered it,” Youngho swallows, like his friend’s name hurts his throat. “To avoid problems.”

 

Jaehyun nods, yet that trace of uneasiness doesn’t fade away. “He’s smart. He wants to see if he feels attracted to Taeyong without the heat controlling his thoughts.”

 

That doesn’t cheer Youngho up. The prospect of Taeil supposing that sooner or later he will run into Taeyong is like a little betrayal. Taeil is ready for it, judging his logic. Youngho isn’t.

 

Noticing his silence, Jaehyun calls him, “But Youngho.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I know you haven’t been properly educated about omegas,” he remarks, though his voice shows prudence, as to not offend him. “Suppressants are a really strong drug. So strong that they completely cancel omega pheromones. So the thing is… you shouldn’t have been about to start his heat. And you shouldn’t feel any pull towards him. That’s… weird.”

 

To be honest, Youngho barely studied omegas or betas. He did a bit more about his own nature, but he still feels like his knowledge is primitive compared to other alphas. He’s an expert in fighting, hunting, and leading a pack, not much more, and he’s aware he lacks the emotional education most members of the pack have.

 

“What do you mean?” Youngho asks, not sure he will like the answer.

 

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun admits, staring at his eyes as if he intends Youngho to realize by himself. “Taeil shouldn’t be so affected by you, not under suppressants. He shouldn’t release pheromones either. I don’t know.”

 

 

 

 

The hunting party is small that day, around five wolves apart from Taeyong and Youngho himself. Youngho is the last to arrive, but that’s not the reason why everyone turns to him as soon as he appears. His friend is smiling, laughing with the others, but then he cracks his neck abruptly to look at Youngho, as though he detected something isn’t working in the right way.

 

By the time Youngho realizes he hasn’t seen Taeyong for longer than he has seen Taeil, it’s too late. Jaehyun had given him advice about how to temporarily get rid of Taeil’s smell, but considering Taeyong’s face right now, scrunched in confusion, it hasn’t been effective. The other guys don’t acknowledge it, of course, because they aren’t in a position to point out something like that about a superior. Taeyong is, however, someone who could order Youngho around if he wanted to, and there’s no trace of discretion in him.

 

“Youngho,” he starts, going from bewilderment to playfulness within a second. “When was the last time you met _that_ omega?”

 

Youngho is petrified, his brain processing what his friend’s expression means. It’s clear Taeyong is relaxed, not angry, and he wouldn’t react this way if he was aware of _who_ the omega is. But the way he asks it, eyes glittering as though he could predict Youngho’s feelings, makes him suspect that it isn’t the first time he smells Taeil on him. And yet, perhaps because he wished Youngho would tell him by his own will, he hasn’t dared to ask him earlier.

 

Before Youngho can defend himself, pulse accelerated, Taeyong approaches him and sets a hand on his shoulder to soothe him, “Why are you so tense?”

 

The worst part is that Taeyong is genuinely concerned, oblivious of what his best friend is withholding. He must have assumed Youngho is dating around, being silent about it just for embarrassment; he isn’t jealous, he’s happy for him, and Youngho suddenly feels so bad that he has the urge to vomit.

 

“I’m-”

 

“Hey, it’s okay if you like someone,” Taeyong cuts him off. Not minding that there are more people around, he strokes Youngho’s neck affectionately, staring into his eyes. When Youngho surrenders to his touch, under the influence of another alpha’s powerful pheromones, Taeyong smiles. “Don’t worry about it. But you could lend me some tricks to convince Doyoung, right?”

 

 

 

 

Maybe frustrated because Youngho isn’t performing well during his trainings, Jaehyun schemes a way to bring Taeil to him. Youngho doubts what his friend is trying to do when he forbids him to get out of the house, get out of his bedroom even, during his patrol shift around Youngho’s house. For some minutes, and although he’s sure Jaehyun wouldn’t go that far, he fears he’s dragging Taeyong here so that he confesses his secret.

 

However, that option vanishes when Youngho sniffs the air for the thousandth time and identifies Taeil’s scent. Still far away, but close enough for him to know he’s going to cross the door in a matter of minutes.

 

On the bed, Youngho trembles. Because he likes Taeil, he likes him so much, and yet he isn’t meant to be by his side. Whatever they have, it has to be broken for the sake of their sanity. If he was capable of letting Taeil go, and if Taeil returned to him after being with Taeyong, Youngho wouldn’t feel so insecure. He would have the certainty that Taeil is serious about him, enough to renounce to his destined mate, even if he doesn’t believe in the concept. It wouldn’t be the first time someone changes their opinion after meeting the perfect one for them, and that’s what scares Youngho so much: that the moment Taeil locks eyes with Taeyong, he will forget about his beliefs.

 

But Taeyong becomes a simple thought in the back of his mind, pushed away, when Taeil’s light steps halt in front of his room. It isn’t necessary for Taeil to knock or open the door for Youngho to know there’s someone on the other side. And although Taeil is aware Youngho can smell him, he doesn’t walk inside immediately. Youngho doesn’t understand why Taeil would need a moment to calm himself down, but Youngho himself does need it, so he doesn’t make the first move.

 

All his efforts to not fall for Taeil are useless when he gets into the bedroom.

 

Tonight, Taeil looks stunning. There’s nothing special about him; his brown, soft hair is still the same, he wears simple clothes, and his smile, now almost masked, is the one he always dedicates to Youngho. But in his eyes, all about Taeil is special. And it’s so unfair, because as Taeil paces closer and closer, Youngho resigns: he can’t fight against the attraction. It’s not a figment of his imagination, not something that is under his control.

 

Taeil doesn’t waste his time. He climbs onto the bed, grabs his arm to keep his balance and presses a terribly sweet kiss on Youngho’s neck.

 

“I missed you,” he proclaims, not afraid of showing his weakness. When Youngho doesn’t move, doesn’t even look at him, Taeil nuzzles the crook of his neck, strangely collected. That’s the exact reason why Youngho isn’t affected either: Taeil has him under his power, pheromones killing his distress. “I need you so much.”

 

It’s obvious Taeil isn’t counting on Youngho to reciprocate the statement, as if he already knew anyway, because he continues kissing him in silence. Youngho allows him, enjoys the way Taeil strokes his hair, presses kisses on his neck, right under his ear, on the corner of his lips. There’s no protest, either, when Taeil leads him under the sheets and takes his shirt off to kiss his naked torso. In that moment, with Taeil sitting right under his stomach, the fondness transforms into something else, his little hands roaming to places that make Youngho shiver.

 

“Taeil,” Youngho warns him, releasing a shaking gasp.

 

The omega snaps out of his daze right away with watery, unfocused eyes. He inhales sharply, as to recover his reasoning, though it doesn’t seem to work out very well. “I’m sorry.”

 

When Taeil jumps out of the bed, Youngho makes a lame attempt at stopping him, reaching for his shirt. He doesn’t mean to offend Taeil, even worse, to reject him, and the dread of having messed up invades him within a second. But the omega slips through his fingers and gets out of the bed, no trace of disappointment.

 

“I know what you’re going to ask,” Taeil affirms, turning around to face him.

 

Staring at him, Youngho can only focus on how beautiful Taeil is. His tiny bare feet on the marble floor, flushed cheeks, and delicate frame; he looks like he belongs there, in Youngho’s room, the last piece of harmony the place needs.

 

The truth is Youngho has dozens of questions, and maybe Taeil has guessed one of them, but not all, so he responds, “You do?”

 

“I can read your mind.” Upon Youngho’s incredulous stare, Taeil chuckles. “And also, Jaehyun talked to me.”

 

Jaehyun could have told him any type of nonsense, but Taeil’s eyes give away what he’s referring to. There’s one thing that is consuming Youngho little by little, and his friend hasn’t been capable of just watching while it happens. For better or for worse, he has interfered, he has done what Youngho has been trying to do for a while.

 

That’s why Youngho doesn’t understand why Taeil isn’t angry at him, objecting and making up excuses. Instead, he’s undoing his t-shirt, slowly, gazing at Youngho through his eyelashes. And Youngho does want an explanation, but a peek of Taeil’s skin, of his chest and abdomen, is enough to mute him. As Taeil approaches him again, kneeling on the bed, Youngho acts on instinct. He removes Taeil’s shirt, throws it away and grips at his slender waist, so slender that Youngho’s hands almost cover it completely. The touch burns him, yet it’s addicting; it’s a pain that calls him, which can only be alleviated by going down with it. And Youngho doesn’t care anymore.

 

“I will keep my promise,” Taeil assures him, panting as Youngho manhandles him onto the bed and under him. He grips Youngho’s back, forcing him down further. “Give me this night, give _us_ this night, and I will meet Taeyong tomorrow.”

 

Youngho simply kisses him.

 

 

 

 

Even if it’s illogical, Youngho doesn’t expect Taeil to be there when he wakes up. Though, why would Taeil leave? It’s Youngho who is scared, who would run away when things get too difficult for him to manage them. There isn’t any reason for Taeil to abandon him, any place which he would recognize as home except this. These are facts that Youngho doesn’t need to verify, for Taeil’s stare tells him all the truth.

 

So, in the morning, he still has Taeil nestled in his embrace, every inch of his naked body pressed against him. Youngho doesn’t regret it, and now he doesn’t want to hand Taeil the opportunity of falling in love with Taeyong. He would rather repeat this morning, every day, this moment of sincere peace, and hide this secret from everyone. If that ensures Taeil will be by his side.

 

It’s selfish, and it’s too late to change his opinion.

 

“You’ve been awake for five seconds, and you already stink of anxiety,” Taeil mumbles, voice muffled against his chest.

 

Youngho supposed Taeil was still asleep, and even now, when Youngho glances down at him, he has his eyes half-closed. There’s a charming smile on his lips, however, that assures him everything is okay.

 

“I’m fine now,” Youngho asserts, and Taeil frees a cute, hoarse laughter.

 

“Do you realize anyone can tell when you’re lying?” he teases, stroking the side of his head. When Youngho scrunches his nose in disagreement, Taeil adds, “You’re strangely cute to be an alpha.”

 

“Is this your biased opinion?”

 

“Yes,” Taeil beams. “But it’s true.”

 

It’s not easy to interrupt this extraordinary moment of intimacy between them, thus it takes them almost one hour to break apart. Taeil is the first to dress up, rummaging through Youngho’s clothes until he finds the biggest jumper. Youngho doesn’t complain, since that allows him to observe Taeil walking naked through the room, and then wearing his jumper, sleeves so long that they reach his knees. But the clock is ticking, and Youngho is aware of it. Every kiss is a kiss before saying goodbye, every caress could be the last; Taeil might not come back to him, might not even remember this night or the days spent in the clearing with him. Destiny is going to choose for them.

 

 

 

 

“Is Taeyong aware of this?”

 

There’s a light breeze in the gardens that sways Taeil’s hair, that makes his voice wave and drives the words away from Youngho. Taeil’s fists are hidden under the jumper Youngho lent him, as if that could link them together after they’re separated.

 

Youngho admits Taeil fits in this place, in the gardens of the most powerful alpha the pack has. Even if there’s no sun in the sky, and the colorful life of the trees and flowers is dying with the season, it’s still beautiful how Taeil stands in the midst of it, like a bit of sunshine that alters the scenery.

 

“I’m pretty sure he isn’t.” Youngho doesn’t have the strength to lie anymore. “He doesn’t want to know anything about you either.”

 

It wasn’t easy to bring Taeil into a zone with extreme security, and regardless of Youngho’s position, some guards were determined to expel the omega. They were trained to doubt any explanation, to protect their leaders, yet Youngho has enough experience to manipulate the situation. That’s why they haven’t been allowed inside the house, but in the gardens, waiting for Taeyong to finish a meeting and welcome them.

 

“This is a bad idea,” Taeil mutters, stare fixed on the grass.

 

Youngho agrees. It has been a horrible idea since the day he attended the festivals. It would have been better if he had never tried to help Taeyong, guided by his own beliefs in destined mates, just to have them destroyed. He has been taught he would meet his destined mate, and he would be happy; he would be in love with him right away, because that’s the way it’s meant to be. The reality is different. Not only did he fall for another person’s destined mate, but also for a cynic who doesn’t believe in such type of relationships.

 

 “It’s unavoidable.”

 

There are no more words exchanged, but Youngho notices how Taeil unconsciously lingers around him, closer, feeling unprotected. Whether he has the urge to grant him that protection or not, it doesn’t matter, because he shouldn’t, and he won’t.

 

Taeyong appears minutes later, and considering his smile and his relaxed stance, he’s oblivious of what’s in front of him. Or maybe he’s happy Youngho is visiting him, since it’s usually Taeyong who invades his house to hang out, not the other way around. It isn’t until several seconds later that his eyes run into Taeil’s figure, almost veiled behind Youngho, and his delight becomes curiosity and confusion.

 

Taeil isn’t staring back at Taeyong, though. He’s gripping Youngho’s arm as though he’s afraid of the other alpha, and Youngho doesn’t understand why: this is not the boy he has shared his time with, because Taeil is bold, confident, and doesn’t flinch even if someone tries to intimidate him. All Taeyong needs to pulverize that is a mere look.

 

 It takes Taeyong several attempts to avert his eyes from Taeil, and when he success in acknowledging his friend again, there’s no amusement on his face anymore. His lips are pressed in a thin line, and any other day Youngho would step back at the menace of Taeyong’s pheromones: he’s disconcerted and suspicious, and everything he emits is negativity.

 

Eyebrows raised, Taeyong asks, “Who is he?”

 

When Youngho guides Taeil in front of him, the last thing he wants is Taeil sticking to him in desperation, yet that’s exactly what happens. Youngho’s legs tremble, not for the situation, but because Taeil intertwines his fingers and squeezes, begging for something Youngho can’t give him.

 

Despite his panic, Youngho still answers, “This is Taeil, your destined mate.”

 

If he had slapped Taeyong in the face, his expression would have been the same. At that moment, Taeyong loses control of himself, crumbles under the weight of that confession. That’s something only Youngho would detect, because it’s the same for him, and because like Taeyong, he can conceal his emotions for a long time. Until it explodes. There are too many pheromones in the air, Taeyong’s, Taeil’s and his own, so overloaded that Youngho is unable to tell anything apart.

 

When Taeyong strides towards them, none are fast enough to move away, glued to the ground. Taeil tugs, however, as if he intends to haul Youngho back. But he knows his friend well enough, so as Taeyong just observes them from up close, Youngho is certain they aren’t going to be screamed at, or scolded.

 

Taeyong scans Taeil once more, like he’s not real, just a figure in a dream. Perhaps he does think he’s in a dream; Youngho wouldn’t find it weird, for the first time he saw Taeil, it didn’t seem like he was part of this world.

 

 “He’s wearing your clothes,” Taeyong denotes, voice sharp, as he returns to Youngho’s face.

 

Youngho didn’t come here to lie, so he confirms, “Yes.”

 

“He’s the omega I smelt on you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Anyone would be smart enough to deduce everything from those questions. Taeyong probably knew since the second he landed eyes on Taeil, or when he captured his scent. He’s forcing Youngho to admit it out loud, like an apparently small punishment that in reality torments Youngho in the most terrible way.

 

Taeyong flashes a bitter smile, eyes damp, as he continues, “You are fucking my mate?”

 

That’s not what Youngho is exactly doing, but it would be stupid to deny it. What he has done is way worse, an accumulation of thoughts and plans that never took off, a greater betrayal than just sleeping with Taeil. He involved Jaehyun in this mess, not caring that he could be harmed too, just to have Taeil. He has thought of running away with him, even, without giving his parents or Taeyong any explanation.

 

Yet, Taeyong isn’t angry anymore. His features are twisted into abysmal disappointment.

 

Then, ignoring Youngho’s sorrowful expression, he turns to Taeil and orders an indisputable, “Get into the house.”

 

Although none of them are supposed to disobey Taeyong, Taeil doesn’t seem disposed to follow the command. There’s a tinge of alarm when he shakes his head and replies, “No.”

 

“Taeil, go,” Youngho pleads, caressing the back of Taeil’s hand with his thumb. He doesn’t dare to glance at any of them, however, because he might not be able to behave if he does. “Taeyong won’t hurt you.”

 

It’s a slow process, but Taeil walks away with hesitation, searching for Youngho’s eyes even though the other is staring at the grass, repentant. When Taeil disappears into the house, there’s a part inside of Youngho that disintegrates, that pleads to chase.

 

“I can’t deal with you right now,” Taeyong announces, and now that Taeil isn’t in their presence, the alpha sounds as exhausted as Youngho is inside. He spins around, not minding if Youngho has something else to say, and dictates for the last time, “Get out.”

 

 

 

 

The first rule Youngho establishes for himself is that he won’t contact Taeil. It’s not that he doubts Taeil will return to him, not having developed any feelings for Taeyong. He trusts him, but he fears. There is a chance Taeil stays with Taeyong, and a higher chance his friend won’t accept him in their life after what he has done.

 

Days pass by, and Youngho renounces to his schedule. He cancels his trainings, refuses to follow the hunting routine, and when his father confronts him about it, he spits out that he won’t be anyone’s Second. He wouldn’t be the Alpha either even if the position belonged to him and not to Taeyong. Needless to say, his parents don’t take his outburst as a serious threat, supposing Youngho is having a rebellion that bloomed too late for his age. During a rare night they get home sooner than usual, they have dinner together and Youngho’s mother insinuates they know Youngho has been meeting an omega.

 

However, it doesn’t catch Youngho by surprise. The house smells of Taeil, and after washing the sheets and cleaning every single thing Taeil touched when he was there, the scent hasn’t dissolved. Even without taking into account the fact Taeil has been in the house, his parents probably realized the moment Youngho became infatuated; they might be absent most of the time, but they have raised him. They are strict when it comes to work, but they aren’t each other’s destined mates either (according to them, they never found their other half) yet they have been together since they were twenty years old. Though he’s not allowed to meet anyone without supervision, in many occasions his father has hinted it’s fine as soon as he doesn’t shout it out loud. They understand Youngho can take an interest in an omega, if it’s any random omega, but they wouldn’t comprehend why Youngho has played with fire this way.

 

The link between powerful families is fragile, and Youngho may have discarded it for his impulsive decisions.

 

It’s strange how no one opposes his will of neglecting his duties (in some way, Youngho wished someone would fight him so that he could release his anger). Instead, his steps bring him to the local library every day, where the silence and the rustling of pages are all that matters. At first he noses around by himself, chooses books without reading the title and immerses in them to forget the real world. But after it becomes a habit, he realizes why he ended up in this place. It isn’t arbitrary that, among all the entertaining locals of the town, he went to Doyoung’s workplace.

 

Sometimes Doyoung is there, sometimes he’s not. Youngho has noticed he doesn’t have a fixed shift, so he can find him there in the mornings or at night. It’s better at night, in his opinion, because the library is already empty, and Youngho has a bit more courage to approach him if they are alone.

 

Doyoung has always liked him. While he didn’t welcome Taeyong, or rather his romantic antics, Youngho believed he felt fondness towards him. That changed the moment Taeil showed up, even before Youngho sent him right into Taeyong’s arms. So Doyoung’s indifference when he visits the library may be caused by two reasons: he’s spiteful because Youngho had something going on with Taeil, or simply because he pushed Taeyong to take the last step to Taeil and away from Doyoung.

 

Therefore, one night Youngho decides it has been too long since they talked, and waits for the rest of the customers to disappear. When he gets up, book against his chest, Doyoung is already gazing at him with prying eyes, as though he suspected this would happen sooner or later.

 

Doyoung closes the book he’s reading, putting his arm over it to hide the title – on purpose, he can tell. Now that he can inspect Doyoung’s face, he’s glad to notice how he looks better, not as stressed as he was months ago. Perhaps he found calmness in his job, just like Youngho did by discarding his.

 

“Youngho, can I help you?” he softly questions when the alpha stares at him in silence.

 

“Yes,” he croaks, snapping out of his thoughts. His eyes roam everywhere except to Doyoung’s face, not sure if he can speak about this while someone’s eyes are on him. “I wonder if you have historical books about… people who have renounced their positions and heritage?”

 

He counts on Doyoung’s reaction not being very warm. The guy gasps before he can control himself, eyes round and mouth open at the question. “Have you gone crazy?” he nags, leaning over the counter as to discover anything that signals he’s not serious. “You can’t do that.”

 

Mildly amused, Youngho raises a brow at him, “Are you telling me what I can do?”

 

“I d-don’t mean…”

 

“Just joking, dude,” Youngho cuts off, smiling at how Doyoung’s cheeks have turned a crimson red. He may be an omega that orders others around, but it’s reckless to treat a superior like that. “I also wonder if there are records about destined mates that broke up. Or any book related to the topic.”

 

It’s evident Doyoung isn’t dealing well with the issue, judging by his silence and the rancorous glance directed to Youngho. However, he gulps when the alpha doesn’t add anything else, not giving up. Then he looks over his shoulder, checking if any of his colleagues are there, and shrugs in resignation.

 

“I will look for information about heritage. But about destined mates,” he begins, sighing.  “We can work together.”

 

Much to his surprise, Doyoung hands him the book he was reading.

 

 

 

 

Youngho loves spending time with Doyoung, despite how little talkative he is and how short his patience is. The good part is they can understand each other’s intentions without words, and Doyoung never objects again when Youngho mentions he’s going to abandon his family’s legacy for a normal life. He’s curious however, and all the nights spent together in the library, under the dim light of the lamps, force the questions out of his mouth. Youngho doesn’t mind them. Indeed, it’s great someone is interested in what _he_ wants and in the reasons why, and Doyoung listens to him without critical remarks.

 

“What are you going to do?” Doyoung asks on a particularly cold night, while he brings a pile of new books and drops them onto the table.

 

Youngho doesn’t waste a second before grabbing the first, a volume called _A bond and its weakness._ “I guess I can only be a hunter,” he ponders, eyes flicking to Doyoung for a moment. “I’m not good enough at combat to be a soldier or a guard.”

 

Also, it would be strange to serve as a guard or a soldier when he has had them at his disposal for twenty-one years. If he leaves that type of life, it’s in all its aspects. Being a soldier would imply the same level of danger, but less rights.

 

“I don’t mean your job,” Doyoung snickers, rolling his eyes so that he notes his answer was too obvious. “I mean your life.”

 

Youngho could make a list of dozens and dozens of pages about what he would devote his life to, but some of those things are too embarrassing to tell Doyoung.

 

“I want to complete the part of my education I lack. I want to go to parties. Have friends that aren’t afraid of scolding me, like Jaehyun,” he remembers, and there’s a twitch of pain at the thought of Jaehyun. After ditching training, he hasn’t gone to visit him, worried that he’s too disappointed in him. “I want to have lots of children. Carry them to school and let them tell me how their day went. I want them to look up to me, but as an equal.”

 

Doyoung explodes, laughter ringing in the broken silence of the library, and exclaims, “Lots of children!”

 

Frowning, Youngho protests, “What?”

 

“That’s cute, Youngho,” Doyoung shakes his head, and not giving it more importance, like it was a crazy confession, he directs his attention back to his book.

 

“I know,” Youngho mutters under his breath. There are too many memories attacking him, pupils that stared at him with a hint of adoration, soft, addicting lips against his, and small revelations that made his heart go wild. “I’m a cute alpha.”

 

 

 

 

Soon, rumors spread around the town. Youngho is oblivious, nevertheless, because the library is like their little universe. Both are isolated from everyone else, from the events of the pack, whether they are formal ceremonies or simple holidays; these simple things don’t matter anymore when they are so focused on their investigations. Even when Doyoung doesn’t have to work, he accompanies Youngho and helps, for they are united in the same aim. Although Youngho notices how less and less persons pass by the library, he doesn’t search for an explanation. To him, it’s a coincidence without importance.

 

That’s it, until one day Doyoung appears in the afternoon, agitated, and yells, “People think you are courting me!”

 

Right away, Youngho forgets what he has been reading, and stares up at a horrified Doyoung.

 

“What?” he dumbly says, confused. After a moment, he understands and bursts into laughter, not able to contain himself.

 

“Don’t laugh! That’s…!”

 

Not finding the right word, Doyoung doesn’t hesitate to slap him on the back of his head, looking too proud of himself when Youngho groans.

 

“Let them think I’m courting you, idiot,” Youngho splutters, rubbing his neck. “That way they won’t come here to bother us. By the way, you’re late for your shift.”

 

Ignoring his jab, Doyoung sits down with an exasperated moan. He is still nervous, and fumbles with the books and documents as if he couldn’t remember what his initial plans were. Putting his read aside, Youngho gazes at him in concern.

 

Upon noticing Doyoung is trembling, just a slight involuntary movement of his fingers, Youngho muses, “Stop.”

 

As if he has forgotten Youngho is right in front of him, Doyoung raises his chin, eyes enlarged in shock. His voice sounds frail and tired as he asks, “Aren’t you going to ask why I didn’t come this morning?”

 

“No.”

 

“I have seen Taeil,” Doyoung proclaims regardless.

 

At that, Youngho is frozen. Since the day Taeil disappeared into Taeyong’s house, he hasn’t had any news from him. He’s not sleeping in Doyoung’s residence, he’s not around the town, living a normal life. Youngho reckons he’s under surveillance now, since he’s the destined mate of the future Alpha; perhaps it’s just that Taeil is comfortable there. Although he blocks all the visions he gets about what they might be doing, a part of him is certain they’re getting to know each other. Maybe they’re falling in love.

 

Youngho would prefer to be ignorant, but his mouth moves by itself, “And?”

 

“I think he got authorization to wander around any zone,” Doyoung continues, heavily breathing. He’s hiding half of his face behind a piece of paper, not wanting Youngho to see his expression. “I don’t know what that means. Only you guys have those privileges, so maybe Taeyong already considers him… one of you.”

 

It’s not the first time Youngho pictures it, yet it’s not the same to hear it loud instead of in his mind. It’s not the same to have a confirmation. There’s anger inside him, and it was a small flame before. Now it’s huge, burns each of his nerves, the little of him that retains the hope. Has he really lost Taeil forever? If it’s over, and within he’s conscious of it, why does he expect to find the solution in books? Furthermore, if Taeyong and Taeil have accepted each other, neither he nor Doyoung should intend to ruin it.

 

Yet, Youngho can’t let go. He covers his face by leaning on both palms, elbows on the table, and grumbles, “Don’t jump to conclusions.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Doyoung never brings up the topic again, but it lingers around them, like a cloud hovering over their heads.

 

 

 

 

They decide to drop their efforts for a couple of days. Doyoung needs time for himself, to not neglect his friendships, and Youngho needs to sleep. However, once he lies in bed, alone in the house once again, it’s a hard task to feel drowsy. He’s tired, so tired, yet what waits in his dreams is worse than his exhaustion. In the end, he has no option but to go downstairs and look for meds. His father keeps an incredible stash of drugs in one of the drawers of the kitchen: there are suppressants for alphas, which Youngho used to take when he was younger to control his ruts; but also anti-depressants and sedatives. Youngho is tempted to take some he shouldn’t, but he strives for the only meds his parents have given him before. He doesn’t count them though, he just swallows as many as his fist can hold at once.

 

Not much later, nightmares arrive.

 

 

 

 

“Youngho? Youngho, fuck, fuck, wake up!”

 

It feels like he has just closed his eyes when the voice calls him. It’s another nightmare, once more, plagued by Taeil as usual. Taeyong appears often, too, and from time to time Youngho is him and not himself, occupying the position his nature suggests he deserves: with his omega. The nightmares are so vivid that Youngho recognizes Taeil’s scent in his nostrils, and his body reacts how it would do in reality. It’s just his memory bringing back what he lived, a trick that serves as consolation.

 

The line between dreams and hallucinations is brittle, so as Youngho cracks his eyelids open enough to focus on any image, he’s sure the person that cups his face isn’t actually there.

 

“Taeil?” he sickly bawls, reaching out.

 

His skin is silky against Youngho’s cheeks, but Taeil’s fingers clutch him with urgency, with fear. And that’s the strange thing about this dream: Taeil is never scared or mad at him, but right now there’s a mixture of both in his expression, blurred in Youngho’s vision.

 

“Baby,” he slurs, upset. Before Youngho processes what’s happening, Taeil is rolling him over his side, stroking his hair out of his forehead. “What did you take?”

 

Deep inside, Youngho is aware this isn’t a hallucination. The shame that settles in the pit of his stomach is real. Taeil finding him in this state wasn’t among his plans. He doesn’t understand why he has showed up, or _how_ , and Youngho realizes that even if he hadn’t taken the sedatives, he wouldn’t be ready to confront Taeil regardless.

 

“You scared the shit out of me,” Taeil murmurs, face sunk in his chest. The sob that he muffles against him is perfectly audible, and it’s not the last that comes out from Taeil. He has trouble to keep speaking, choked by the tears, holding onto Youngho’s body with dread. “Don’t go back to sleep. I can’t tell if you’re asleep or dead.”

 

 

 

 

Youngho regrets the decisions from last night as soon as he recovers full conscience. He should have counted the pills, or maybe he shouldn’t have used them and spent a sleepless night. It’s likely that not much time has passed since Taeil arrived, because though he’s calm now, he’s still awake, caressing Youngho’s neck with delicacy. Upon Youngho’s stare on him, he glances up at the alpha, a hopeful sparkle in his eyes.

 

There would be no reason for Taeil to look at him with adoration, to be with him in bed, cuddled up to him as if it was still their last night together, but Youngho recognizes those feelings on his face. He is incapable of asking the questions that have piled up during this time. Is Taeil avoiding their problems, pretending they don’t exist?

 

“Do you do this often?” he sighs, not breaking the eye contact.

 

If Youngho wasn’t in so much pain for the circumstances, he would laugh. “They are just pills for sleeping,” he clarifies. In his opinion, it’s absurd this is the first topic they’re talking about after so much time apart, but he feels remorseful for having shocked Taeil. “I’m sorry.”

 

Taeil hums in understanding, but in the end he still says, “It worries me.”

 

Careful of not being too harsh, Youngho nudges him away to sit up. Taeil imitates him, eyes never leaving Youngho’s features, and it’s then, when Taeil creates a puff of air with his movement, that he detects it: Taeyong’s scent. Taeil reeks of the other alpha and in panic, Youngho scans him for a mark on his neck, but he doesn’t discover anything that signals that they have mated.

 

The idea of them together shoves Youngho back to his senses. “Why are you here?”

 

Confused by Youngho’s severe reaction, Taeil murmurs, “I couldn’t cope with this anymore. Being away from you.”

 

“You can’t just come here without any explanation,” Youngho blurts out. The more he ponders about it, the more it maddens him. Taeyong gave Taeil the freedom to access any zone, and he went straight to his house. Youngho doubts his friend would be happy to hear this, considering he hasn’t called him at all, not even to demand he should fulfill his hunting days. “You have to tell me about Taeyong.”

 

In silence, Taeil lunges to hold his hand, but Youngho moves away in time. He can’t be logical while he’s so close to the omega, and he’s tired of giving into his physical desires instead of searching for a solution.

 

At the rejection, Taeil seems self-conscious. He casts his gaze downwards, to the sheets, not able to bear the sight of a cold Youngho.

 

“Destined mates don’t exist,” he repeats, with a knot in his throat. It alights Youngho’s instinct, yet he restrains himself for once, remembering that kissing Taeil is just going to deepen their issues. “I don’t love him. Yes, he’s attractive, he smells good. Maybe if I had bumped into him in a random party we would have hooked up. But there’s nothing in him that pulls me in, no extraordinary link. Nothing.”

 

Although Youngho should be relieved, the tension doesn’t let him act. His education says Taeil is lying: destined mates love each other no matter what, they’re the pieces of their own puzzle and the simple fact of not being together would torment them. However, the last weeks with Doyoung and their investigation have proved him otherwise; it’s rare that the bond breaks, but it’s possible. There have been times in history in which mates even slashed the bond on purpose.

 

If Taeil loves him, Youngho isn’t going to renounce.

 

“We made out a couple of times,” Taeil confesses in a mumble. He becomes a jittering mess right away, so small and terrified, and this time Youngho can’t handle it. “He said we _had_ to _try_. Neither of us got aroused or…”

 

He’s unable to finish the explanation, gasping as Youngho surrounds his frame with his big arms and brings him close. It’s not a rational response, but Youngho’s sixth sense directs him, telling him he must appease Taeil’s fear. When he seizes the omega’s lips and licks into his mouth, he tastes something so sweet that he can’t help but groan. Taeil lets him in, consents by climbing onto his lap and grinding against him, lips parted in a mute plead as Youngho devours them.

 

“Shut up,” Youngho grunts. “I don’t want to fucking know that.”

 

Taeil releases a beautiful sound, half laughter and half moan, and Youngho loses his last drop of sanity.

 

 

 

 

Taeil’s heat breaks out in the afternoon.

 

It’s not a possibility that crossed Youngho’s mind when Taeil appeared in the house against all odds. But everything clicks into place the moment Taeil’s shaking begins, temperature rising and scent intruding Youngho’s body. It makes sense Taeil behaved so illogically if his heat was near, that he risked getting on Taeyong’s bad side just to resort to the alpha he really yearns for. It makes him wonder if that’s the reason why he’s here. It makes him wonder why Taeil dropped his suppressants while he lived with Taeyong.

 

It’s a first for Youngho to take care of an omega in heat, and he has no guidance except for an endless trail of desperate pleads. He wasn’t a virgin before Taeil, but all his experience is exhausted in betas and some alphas. It’s different, perhaps because of Taeil’s effect on him or for the mere fact that he’s an omega.

 

Youngho is in a haze. He loses count of how many times Taeil has to come until he manages to put him to sleep, immediately drifting to slumber as Youngho cleans him up. He mutters words Youngho can’t distinguish, half conscious, but his tone is full of affection and gratitude, and the warmth inside the alpha isn’t sexual anymore: it’s a form of completion and intimacy.

 

By the time Youngho is free and out his own bedroom, it’s too late to analyze the consequences. He has an omega in heat in his room, almost passed out, who also happens to be Taeyong’s destined mate and that every guard must be looking for at this point.

 

The most rational option that pops up is Jaehyun, but Youngho doesn’t want to get him into trouble. He has a job to preserve, and if Youngho is going to reject his heritage, he won’t be able to protect him from Taeyong’s decisions. It’s not like he fears Taeyong will hurt him or his friends; they have grown up together, and Taeyong wouldn’t transform into that type of leader. He’s kind-hearted, a bit of a rebel and impulsive, and he’s always going to be that child Youngho knew back then, even if he becomes their leader. In a way, Youngho betrayed him, and Taeyong hasn’t used his power to revoke his family privileges.

 

So Youngho only has one person left, one that is free of danger: Doyoung.

 

 

 

 

“You’re lucky you were born in this era! Three hundred years earlier and you would have been beheaded for being such a little, irresponsible shit. Like two months ago, actually.”

 

Doyoung pushes away the guard that is blocking the entrance, striding into the house like an unstoppable force. Even after hitting Youngho in the back of his head, the alpha is certain he needs Doyoung. Not that he had many other solutions: he only knows three omegas enough to contact them, one is in his bed and the other is Sicheng, who looks like the kind that wouldn’t solve anything. Doyoung pesters him, but he’s helpful.

 

Upon Youngho’s apologetic silence, Doyoung grumbles, “This is why I don’t like alphas.”

 

“You love alphas,” he retorts, deadpanning.

 

“Shut up.” Doyoung slams the main door, not minding the guard’s pitiful face, and glares at Youngho. “Where is he?”

 

It’s not a good thing that Doyoung draws out Youngho’s sarcastic self and that, plus the fact he’s a nervous wreck right now, provokes Youngho to answer, “Where do you think he is? In the kitchen making a sandwich for you?”

 

Despite how serious Doyoung was a second ago, Youngho suspects he’s fighting a smile. He pats him on the back, as though he attributes Youngho’s rudeness to the fact that he’s surrounded by an omega’s heat pheromones, and teases, “Oh god, I’m so glad you won’t be the Alpha.”

 

“Woah, aren’t you a sensible person.”

 

He’s already walking upstairs, a bag on his back with the items he requires to stop Taeil’s heat (to be honest, Youngho has no idea what they are, if they are pills, injections or another entirely different thing), but he still shouts at Youngho, “You started it!”

 

 

 

 

Ironically, Youngho is so anxious that he decides to make sandwiches for both Doyoung and Taeil. Since he has spent too many hours without eating anything, Taeil is going to be beyond hungry once he recovers his composure. His whole house is clouded by Taeil’s scent, however, and there’s no way for him to know the exact moment the meds have done their function.

 

He gives up after two hours, and decides to lie down on the couch of the living room. Although he didn’t go into his rut, he’s exhausted too from the effort, and overthinking isn’t benefiting him at all. Despite his state, he doesn’t fall asleep, but he’s not dumb enough to go for the sleeping pills again. He wants to be decent when all this ends.

 

Not long after, he recognizes Doyoung’s smell, and the omega is in his sight before he can even sit up. It’s evident he has been successful, given his composure while he glances at his friend.

 

“He’s in the shower,” Doyoung announces as Youngho opens his mouth to ask. He joins him on the couch, and before Youngho says anything, he adds with solemnity, “He says he was on suppressants, Youngho.”

 

“That’s not…”

 

Youngho can’t finish the sentence. It’s not impossible. Jaehyun warned him, long time ago, that it wasn’t normal that Taeil released pheromones when he was under the effect of the suppressants. However, there isn’t any reason for Taeil to lie, so if that’s the case, it means only one thing.

 

Youngho has the possibility on the tip of his tongue, and Doyoung is staring at him as though he’s expecting him to agree with him, to verbalize their thoughts. But it’s scary. It has brought him a lot of pain, to the four of them actually, and a part of Youngho refuses to believe he has endured it when it wasn’t necessary.

 

“Taeyong didn’t prompt his heat though they have been together day and night,” Doyoung continues, and places his palm on his thigh to grab his attention. The gesture is comforting as well, and Youngho couldn’t be more thankful for having called Doyoung hours ago. “You did.”

 

His stomach churns. Taeil’s body feels right between his hands, that much he knows. It’s the correct thing, like the universe is attempting to bond them. “But that day-“

 

“You were there,” Doyoung reminds him. His expression changes then, and it isn’t difficult for Youngho to realize Doyoung is putting all the blame on himself. It was him who dived into the first, most painful conclusion. He looks at the floor, ashamed. “I could only smell Taeyong, and I thought he was the one releasing pheromones. I just… couldn’t detect yours at all. But his body did, hence the heat.”

 

Youngho is lucky he didn’t get up, because if he had done it, he would have fallen down right away. “I’m his mate?”

 

Doyoung nods so fast that it’s almost unnoticeable. “And Taeyong isn’t.”

 

It’s too much to process within a second, so Youngho only sputters the first thought that occurs him. “He doesn’t believe in mates.”

 

Youngho doesn’t realize he’s covering his face with his hands until Doyoung forces him to stop. The way Doyoung gazes at him is sweet, as if he’s convincing his younger brother that he’s allowed to drive his car for the first time. It’s a great contrast to the Doyoung that bickers with him about everything, and Youngho guesses that’s why Taeyong likes him so much: he’s stubborn, but mature, and a shoulder to lean on when you’re at your worst.

 

“But you do,” Doyoung whispers as he squeezes Youngho’s hand in his. His smile is wide, and Youngho feels safe again. He doesn’t have anything to fear, not because of Taeil, and less now that they know the truth. “It doesn’t change things for him, but it does for you. For the rest of us.”

 

 

 

 

When Doyoung leaves, Youngho doesn’t immediately walk upstairs to Taeil. He stays on the couch, eyes unfocused, staring at nothing. Taeil being his mate should change things, indeed, but it doesn’t. Youngho should feel that weight disappearing from his shoulders, he should be relieved and happy, and should laugh and run to Taeyong to make amends.

 

However, there is a piece missing in this puzzle that doesn’t allow Youngho to be contented with the news. Youngho wasn’t and isn’t preoccupied with his own feelings, because they are crystal clear in his book: what has always concerned him is everyone else, in this case Taeil and Taeyong.

 

That’s why Youngho watches the minutes pass by on the big clock of the living room, not taking action. He and Taeil had a solid link, but both of them thought it was because they genuinely loved each other, above destiny, pheromones and their biology. Even if Youngho believes in destined mates, now he understands Taeil’s point of view. It isn’t that special anymore now that he knows this was supposed to happen, that they weren’t fighting against anything but following the rules of the universe instead.

 

Hands damp with sweat, and nerves churning his stomach, Youngho decides he’s not in any position to begin a conversation with Taeil. Aware that the omega will leave the bedroom when he’s ready, Youngho waits there, alert to the sounds that could indicate it’s the moment, but only catching the weird creaking noises of his old house.

 

After a long hour that becomes an eternity in Youngho’s mind, the sound of Taeil’s light steps fill the hall, which enters the living room as a distant echo. Nervous, Youngho stands up, drying his hands on his pants as Taeil appears under the door frame. Unlike what Youngho has expected, Taeil doesn’t seem tired. Stopping his heat must have done wonders on him, because although he guiltily avoids Youngho’s stare, he looks beautiful, clean and whole to him.

 

“Youngho?” he calls in a soft voice, almost scared. His fists are hidden inside the jumper, and he closes his eyes in resignation, under Youngho’s attention, regret on his expression even before he has said anything.

 

With a dry throat, Youngho gulps and lets it happen, “Yeah?”

 

Much to his surprise, Taeil steps forward, eyes flickering up to finally look at him. There’s a heavy realization in the atmosphere, in both of them, and though words aren’t needed, they are spoken out anyway, “I need time.” Taeil’s smooth lips seal for a second, and then he adds, “Please?”

 

“I know you do,” Youngho admits. It comes out as a whisper, as an apprehensive materialization of his fears, but he’s ready to face it. He wouldn’t rush Taeil into decisions that he doesn’t want to make. Youngho wishes that, whatever it happens, it’s sincere, well-thought, and neither of them will resent each other. “You don’t owe me anything, Taeil.”

 

There’s evident surprise on Taeil’s face for a fleeting moment, but then he smiles, nearly a scoff. His way of saying goodbye is a simple, “I owe you everything.”

 

 

 

 

Taeil is gone.

 

Whether he returns to the residence or searches for another temporary house, Youngho makes the effort of not prying. After two weeks, he hasn’t had any news from him, and though Doyoung could tell him where he is, Youngho doesn’t want to visit him to be rejected. He still wonders why Taeil needs time, what’s so bad about being destined mates that the simple fact managed to destroy what they built during the last months.

 

“I thought he would be happy, actually,” Doyoung confesses one afternoon after getting off of work.

 

Youngho is waiting for him at the entrance of the library, just like they have been accustomed to lately. That hasn’t helped to silence the rumors about them, obviously, instead feeding them more. But it doesn’t make much sense to impede their friendship, not when Youngho finally has someone out of his power circle that is disposed to be his friend.

 

“You don’t know him that well,” Youngho points out, because Taeil’s reaction was predictable enough for him. Doyoung wasn’t very fond of Taeil anyway, so he didn’t develop any interest in him while they were in the residence. “Did you contact Taeyong?”

 

Intertwining their arms together and pulling up his scarf, Doyoung shakes his head in denial. “You will have to do it. He has blocked any path I had to reach him, but maybe… since you are childhood friends, he’s at least expecting an apology from you.” Unsure, he glances at Youngho for a second, as though he may have the solution. He doesn’t. He doesn’t comprehend either why Taeyong refuses to meet Doyoung now that he’s free to choose his mate again. However, when Doyoung shifts nervously on his legs, Youngho has a hunch, and then his friend mutters, “I think he believes we are dating, or seeing each other in a not so friendly way.”

 

Youngho wants to sputter a _Taeyong is so fucking stupid, I’m going to punch him_ , but he remembers he has been a terrible friend to him. So he only agrees with a, “Shit.”

 

“Yeah,” Doyoung laughs, but there’s not merriment in him.

 

Even though Youngho could have enclosed his emotions, shut himself away from everything that’s happening, he didn’t. That’s the reason why he perceives what Doyoung is asking for, or what he doesn’t dare to say with words. Doyoung is scared to face Taeyong and discover he doesn’t love him anymore, and that’s how Youngho feels about Taeil.

 

This favor is beyond complicated. Youngho cherishes Taeyong just as much as he could cherish Taeil, maybe even more, if those two kinds of love were comparable. He’s terrified of realizing he lost Taeyong, too, but Doyoung is right: he’s not going to forbid Youngho to enter his home, and that’s an advantage for him.

 

So the next time Doyoung looks into his eyes, with that glint of desperate hope, Youngho simply nods.

 

 

 

 

Jaehyun isn’t happy. In fact, he seems terribly angry when he spots Youngho strolling through the gardens, with his hands in his pockets and an ashamed half smile. Of course, Jaehyun is bright enough to deduce that, on purpose, Youngho decided to visit Taeyong during Jaehyun’s turn as a sentinel. Because Jaehyun doesn’t have the heart to deny him the chance of apologizing, even if that means trouble for himself, and Youngho can be that shameless sometimes.

 

“I hate you,” Jaehyun grunts at him as Youngho lessens the little distance between.

 

The other sentinel, next to Jaehyun, gazes at him like he has a death sentence on him for that commentary, mouth open in horror. He becomes even more confused when Youngho chuckles awkwardly, shoulders hunched under Jaehyun’s glare, “I’m sorry? But I’m not? Can I just go in?”

 

With a sigh, Jaehyun accepts, “You better buy me something nice.”

 

Youngho will, but as Jaehyun opens the doors for him, ignoring the blabbering coming from the other guard, Youngho shoots a fast, “That’s called bribery!”

 

Much to his luck, Jaehyun doesn’t have enough time to protest, for Youngho steps in and comes face to face with Taeyong himself. Jaehyun closes the door so fast, whether it’s for privacy or because he’s afraid, that Youngho notes to get back at him later.

 

Taeyong doesn’t flinch. First, because it’s obvious he knew Youngho was going to his home. Secondly, because he doesn’t really have a reason to be the uncomfortable one, so he isn’t. He has his arms crossed, his chin raised up, and defying eyes that are determined to drill a hole into Youngho’s own eyes.

 

“It took you long enough,” Taeyong reproaches him.

 

Though that could have been interpreted as a whine, as a clear _I miss you_ , Taeyong doesn’t let his guard down for Youngho to get away with it.

 

“I don’t know how I should start,” he confesses, tearing his gaze away. It’s painful to see all those emotions painted on Taeyong’s face: the disappointment, the hurt, yet also that badly concealed anticipation, as if Taeyong wishes they could fix their problems in a single second and move on.

 

Taeyong swallows, unsure, and then mutters, “You could start with Doyoung?”

 

Youngho would laugh at him, except he doesn’t want to embarrass Taeyong for his sincerity. After all, the only real concern on Taeyong’s mind is if he has stolen Doyoung from him; and that’s so simple, so innocent that Youngho wants to hug him.

 

Containing a smile, Youngho agrees, “Let’s start with Doyoung, then.”

 

 

 

 

Youngho isn’t sure what happened during the time he didn’t stick to Taeyong, that moment in which they stopped being the two kids that needed to be together to feel protected. But now, when he looks at Taeyong, he sees a man. He sees someone ready to be an Alpha, someone kind and firm that will protect him. But Taeyong isn’t anymore that boy Youngho can protect; that role works only one way, after so many years of friendship. When he explains what he and Doyoung have been doing, Youngho can’t help but be proud of the effect his words have on Taeyong.

 

At first, Taeyong is tense, but his stance changes as Youngho talks and the explanations become a conversation between the two of them. Of course, they don’t stay in the hall, since Taeyong decides it’s better to talk somewhere private. Although Youngho was afraid to catch Taeil’s scent if they ended up in Taeyong’s room, he’s satisfied to verify there’s no trace of Taeil in there, not even on the sheets.

 

On the bed, when Youngho starts blabbering, Taeyong pets his hair until his words dissipate, but he doesn’t fight against that display of power. It’s odd to call Taeyong his Alpha, yet that’s exactly what he has transformed into. And a part of him knows that, even if Taeil had been Taeyong’s destined mate, he would have renounced him just to not to hurt a member of his pack. That’s the difference, why Youngho wouldn’t be a good leader: he lets his emotions guide him, no matter if he marks a path of destruction behind him.

 

And Taeyong knows that, knows every tiny detail of his personality as though Youngho was part of his family. Because Youngho is his family, and it means he will be forgiven, that Taeyong understands him and his feelings. Even if he doesn’t know his destined mate, or how that is like, it’s ingrained in them thanks to their culture. Taeyong wouldn’t blame him for all the bad choices he made.

 

At the end of the day, as Taeyong’s eyelids are having trouble to be completely open, body going limp on the bed, he mutters, “Bring Doyoung to me.”

 

Youngho is sure that, at least, he can do that.

 

“I can’t believe you’re forgiving me just because I’m not interested in Doyoung,” he complains, however. He reckons it’s a relief Taeyong is this permissive, but it’s unsettling that he would forgive Youngho almost anything because he loves him. Maybe that’s his weakness as a leader, an excessive trust in his close friends and family. “I can’t believe you were mad just because you thought I was capable of that.”

 

With his eyes already closed, hunched under the sheets, Taeyong tiredly mumbles, “Youngho, you got involved, physically and emotionally, with someone who was supposed to be my mate.”

 

“But because he was _my_ mate.” The excuse comes out as a whimper, which makes Taeyong chuckle. His friend hasn’t allowed him the chance to explain himself, perhaps because it wasn’t necessary and Taeyong comprehended him, or perhaps because he didn’t care anymore. Yet there are things that Youngho feels compelled to say, so as Taeyong lapses into silence again, he continues, “I felt horrible but it also felt right, like it was meant to be and you couldn’t possibly stop it.”

 

For a moment, Taeyong doesn’t respond, and Youngho turns his head to check if he has fallen asleep. But when he does, Taeyong is reaching for his hand under the sheets, holding him softly but making Youngho feel secure under his touch. “And I couldn’t,” he agrees, squeezing his palm. “Go to sleep, Youngho.”

 

 

 

 

For some reason, Youngho assumed Doyoung would accept to meet Taeyong right away. He doesn’t. He rants for one long hour as they sit in a café, scaring most of the customers away (though that may have something to do with Youngho’s presence), because he’s angry Taeyong is only disposed to fight for him if there’s no one else involved. By the time he finishes what seems like a list of Taeyong’s flaws, he deflates and groans, “I’m going to kiss him but first I’m going to punch him.”

 

Youngho just hums, aware that if he releases the laughter he’s holding back, Doyoung is going to punch him instead. “You think he does stupid things, but they are altruistic and brave decisions, actually.”

 

Taken aback, Doyoung raises a brow at him, “What?”

 

Youngho hasn’t planned the next words, but as they come out, he realizes how well he can interpret his friend’s actions. “In the remote case we had liked each other, he wouldn’t have let you approach him. To make it easier for you. So that you didn’t feel guilty.”

 

The way Doyoung’s eyes widen in realization is almost comical, and risking his own life, Youngho can’t help but to send him an irritating grin. But it’s worth it, because Doyoung’s cheeks flush red, and he sounds shier than ever when he grumbles, “Shut up, Youngho.”

 

Not daring to push Doyoung’s buttons, Youngho just smiles at him, although he will be able to make fun of this in the future. Preferably before Doyoung becomes a member of the pack with more power than him, which is going to happen the exact moment he mates with Taeyong.

 

Just when both of them have calmed down, Doyoung gasps, and it’s one of those gasps that doesn’t infer anything good. Like that time Youngho forgot he had a fighting competition and spent the whole morning playing with a pup instead. As Youngho looks up at him, Doyoung shrinks back a bit in his seat, as though he’s going to be reprimanded. That’s such an odd sight for Youngho that it’s impossible not to suppose Doyoung has screwed up for real.

 

Doyoung smiles awkwardly, like pleading with Youngho not to get mad at him. “I forgot Taeil talked to me,” he reveals at last, cautious. “He’s back in the residence and wants to see you.”

 

Youngho freezes, trying to process the words in his head, which works painfully slow as soon as he hears Taeil’s name. His palms are sweaty, his heart is racing, and of course the only question that escapes his lips is a trembling, “Right now?”

 

Doyoung blinks at him, half worried and half confused at his reaction. “He said, textually, _when he feels ready_.” And then, with a scoff, he adds, “Like it was you who ran away.”

 

The truth is that Youngho isn’t ready. There is a possibility Taeil has made a decision he doesn’t want to confront, because destined mates don’t exist in his head. Because he thinks a destined mate is _someone you want to fuck_. Only that. Yet this distance, not touching Taeil, not being able to stare into his eyes, not receiving his warm smile is more than Youngho can bear. If Taeil was going to leave him, Youngho would have preferred not to have him at all. People can’t be happy if their soulmate is away, unless they haven’t ever meet them.

 

But despite his doubts, Youngho’s legs move on his own, and before he can realize what he’s doing, he’s picking up his keys to leave. As he strides towards the exit, Doyoung shouts at him, “Is this how you avoid paying for your coffee?”

 

 

 

 

If Youngho was very confident about Taeil minutes ago, once he reaches the residence he changes his mind. It’s the first time he’s alone in this place, and as he crosses halls and common rooms, the stares he endures aren’t exactly welcoming. This is a safe space for omegas, and he shouldn’t barge in regardless of his power, but technically Taeil gave him permission.

 

He isn’t sure why he expects Taeil to be in his room, like the time stopped the moment they fell apart and Taeil’s life became stuck. Maybe because Youngho doesn’t have anything to do except waiting and searching for him, thinking about him, and he wishes he was that important for Taeil too.

 

However, Taeil isn’t in his room. He’s in one of the common places, a big space with pool tables and table tennis. There are two girls and a boy with him, and Taeil is comfortable around them, with that hint of mischievousness and sarcasm in his voice that Youngho is so familiar with. Thanks to the suppressants Youngho has been taking, both to abolish his hormones and the emotions they bring, he can watch from afar for a while.

 

Of course, he still has his own scent, the one that isn’t meant to lure anyone into sex. Taeil should be able to detect him anywhere, at any distance, not only because they are destined mates, but because they have kissed and tasted every inch of each other. The way Taeil smells, the flavor of his lips and his skin is an intense memory on his taste buds, and Youngho knows Taeil must experience the same.

 

Taeil says his name without the need of spinning to check it’s indeed him. He forgets mid sentence what he was saying to his friends, blurting out a trembling, “Youngho?”

 

And then everyone is staring at Youngho, even though he can only focus on Taeil. He’s exactly the same, with his softness and his sharpness, and provokes the same emotions inside Youngho. He didn’t expect a difference in his demeanor. Just maybe a blatant rejection.

 

“Guys, can you-?” Taeil starts, and even if he’s talking to his friends, his eyes are fixed on Youngho,.

 

“Yes,” one of the girls cuts him off, eyes round. “Let’s go. “

 

Once they are alone, Youngho isn’t so nervous anymore. The reason is that Taeil, unlike him, hasn’t been using suppressants, and that means his pheromones relax him in an instant. He does it on purpose, which isn’t very morally accepted in society, but mates help each other this way all the time.

 

Youngho opens his mouth to greet him, questions piling up on the edge of his lips, but Taeil doesn’t allow him to. Within a second, he’s tiptoeing to grab him by the back of his hair, pulling him down for a kiss. Youngho tumbles forward, meeting Taeil in the middle, but much to their luck they crash against a pool table and Youngho can hold onto it, Taeil cornered in between.

 

“Shit, I hurt my back,” Taeil whimpers, but then laughs, pecking Youngho on his lips once more.

 

Youngho lets out a hoarse laugh as well, but when Taeil licks into his mouth, that’s anything except funny. It’s that easy to make him lose his mind, and it would be as equally easy to use the pool table for other purposes that didn’t imply playing, but that’s not why he’s here. Their relationship won’t progress if they base it on physical contact alone, and that’s the thought that pushes Youngho to halt the kisses, to stand with his back firm instead of crouching to drown inside Taeil’s mouth.

 

“You have something to tell me?” he gasps softly, eyebrows furrowed. “Or nothing at all?”

 

The question is another one completely different: _are you going to open up to me? Or are we going to break off?_ But Taeil understands, because both of them are conscious there’s a wall between them and it was Taeil who built it. So Youngho hopes, but can’t force him to tell him his secrets.

 

Taeil’s eyes draw downwards, avoiding the attention Youngho is giving him. “I told you I already had two mates in my other pack.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Gripping the pool table until his knuckles turn white, Taeil mumbles, “There is a third mate I didn’t talk to you about.”

 

The only hint in his voice is that it isn’t a positive revelation. Taeil hid it for a reason, and all the possibilities cross Youngho’s head within a second, each one more terrible than the last one. Yet he doesn’t pressure Taeil, only observes him in silence and grants him the time he needs to continue. It’s time that Youngho himself requires too.

 

“Since we don’t believe in destiny, sometimes we bond for the wish of our families,” Taeil gulps, and with a deep inhale, he dares to stare back up at Youngho. “For power. I had been dating my third mate for a while, he was a beta from a very respected family, so we bonded because our families gave us their blessings. I don’t know if I was in love. I reached a point at which I wasn’t sure if I loved him or he made me believe I did.”

 

From the first sentence, Youngho doesn’t like where the story is going. Not because he’s jealous Taeil loved someone before, but because whatever Taeil is reminiscing, it’s making him hurt his own hands with the pool table, splinters breaking his skin. When he holds Taeil’s hand between his, the omega seems a bit surprised, as though he wasn’t aware that he had lost control of himself.

 

“He was one of those persons, you know? He made me feel like I needed him, told me how much he loved me, but then he would turn his back on me. Sometimes he met with other boys, but that was the good part. The bad part was when he took it out on me.”

 

Youngho hears himself say in horror, “Took it out on you?”

 

It’s awful when Taeil lets his head hang down in embarrassment. Like it’s something to be ashamed of, like it’s his fault. “No one believed me when I told them he was abusive. He was perfect, polite, charming. He had everything under control, and when I tried to break up with him, he just laughed and said _No_.” His voice trembles in the end, and he has to stop for a second, biting down his lip. “He said no, Youngho. Only that.”

 

If Youngho expressed his thoughts right now, the deep anger and frustration that invades him, he would destroy Taeil. Taeil doesn’t mean harm, and as he unfolds his past, Youngho realizes why he was so reticent to tell him about it: because it was going to hurt Youngho too.

 

“So you ran away?”

 

“Not at first. I stayed,” he admits. And yes, it disappoints Youngho, which is probably what Taeil fears. Yet it’s not for the reason he would assume: Youngho is disappointed because Taeil didn’t have anyone by his side, because his destined mate was trapped, suffering, and the mere action of imagining him like that makes him sick to his stomach. Because Youngho will never be able to erase those painful experiences, no matter what. In the best case, he will only be able to contribute with new memories. “I knew I couldn’t break up with him because he would do anything possible to make my life a living hell, or kick me out of the pack. I knew he would try to kill me.”

 

It was that _bad_. And Youngho is strong enough to listen to the whole story, even if it pulverizes the little sanity in him, but Taeil’s face shows he can’t continue. It brings him memories that he has tried to shove to the deepest corner of his mind, and Youngho suspects collecting all of them all at once isn’t a great idea. He will have time to know if Taeil left by his own will or not, or how he ended up in Youngho’s pack. If he misses homes, if he still loves his family.

 

Therefore, he cups Taeil’s face between his hands, forcing him to look up so that he doesn’t dwell on his own words and crumbles down with them. “Taeil, you don’t have to go on.”

 

The other nods, drawing half of a smile. And this time, he stares at Youngho like he’s seeing him for the first time again, and Youngho senses that warmth in his stomach. It’s that shine, that adoration in Taeil’s expression what always makes him complete and safe.

 

“I fell in love with you, big boy. It happened so fast and I was so scared,” Taeil whispers. _I fell in love with you_ , is all that repeats inside Youngho’s head, again and again, until he’s breathless. “And then Doyoung told me we were destined mates, and I didn’t know if it was a trap to link me to you forever. I know it was a stupid thing to presume, I know you wouldn’t do that.”

 

Youngho caresses Taeil’s jaw with his hand, and Taeil leans into the touch, closing his eyes. “If you stop loving me one day, you can leave me,” he assures the omega. It’s not a pleasant assumption, yet Youngho has already been capable of letting Taeil go once. Whether it was a good decision or not, Youngho carried on because it would have been the best for Taeil. “Even if I still love you. _Especially_ if I still love you.”

 

The conversation dies there, as though both reckon that it’s enough for today. It’s a big step for Taeil, that’s evident when he presses himself against Youngho’s chest, almost begging to be held. Of course, Youngho complies, entangling his fingers in his hair and keeping him close.

 

“I’m sorry for not trusting you,” Taeil says, voice muffled against the fabric of the alpha’s t-shirt.

 

“Don’t you dare to be sorry,” Youngho warns him. The apology doesn’t settle well, because it’s not Taeil’s fault, and he has all the right in the world to take some time for himself. Youngho would never resent him for that, since he had doubts as well, and worst of all, he pushed him into Taeyong’s arms once. Kissing the top of Taeil’s head, Youngho adds, “I’m sorry for not trusting us.”

 

 

 

 

All of a sudden, Youngho tastes freedom. His only concerns are visiting Taeil’s omega residence every day and preparing the paperwork to renounce the heritage. He discusses it with his parents, who both lash out at him at first when they realize there’s no turning back. They blame Taeil, and they assure Taeyong has the right to claim him as his Second even if he doesn’t want to occupy the position. But Taeyong wouldn’t do that to him.

 

His parents’ refusal does affect Youngho, yet he was aware of what he was getting into since the moment the mere idea popped up in his mind. These days during which he spends the night at the omega residence, cuddling or fucking Taeil to sleep, he remembers why it’s worth it. Taeil may not believe in destined mates, but he is by Youngho’s side. He loves him, and that’s enough for him. Youngho is certain his parents will come around once they realize he and Taeil are serious, and that a life without political power can be a happy life too.

 

While his family is disappointed, Taeyong is devastated by the news. They’re still trying to go back to their previous stage, when Taeyong dared to hug and kiss Youngho with sincerity, without thinking about what would have taken place if Taeil had been his mate instead. He supports him the most, still, and lets him stay at his home when Youngho doesn’t feel like facing his parents or worrying Taeil.

 

“You are abandoning me,” Taeyong whines, however, one afternoon he escapes to spend time with Youngho. It hasn’t been shocking that Taeyong’s first plan was to invade the omega residence once more, probably for the last time because soon it wouldn’t be a forbidden thing for any of them. Youngho has managed to convince him to stroll around the city instead which, considering all the attention they’re grabbing, wasn’t the smartest option either. “What am I going to do all alone now?”

 

“You have Doyoung,” Youngho retorts, laughing. “You aren’t supposed to lead the pack alone, your mate has to do it too.”

 

Taeyong glares at him out of the corner of his eye, but there’s a blinding glow in his gaze. Mentioning Doyoung could appease any of his protests.

 

“Do you think he’s that easy?” Taeyong murmurs, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. “Even after confessing, he’s still giving me a hard time. He lets me touch him only after I have done _the good deed of the day_ , can you believe it?”

 

It would be funny if Youngho told Taeyong how head over heels Doyoung is. He got to know him very well during the days at the library, and if Youngho is sure of something, it’s that Doyoung loves Taeyong more than he will ever imagine. He enjoys making Taeyong suffer though, almost as if he’s teaching him that nothing is free, that he has to work for it.

 

“Indulge him a bit, Taeyong,” Youngho scolds him, even if he passes an arm over his shoulder. Taeyong leans against him contentedly and closes his eyes for a moment. “When Taeil gets out of the residence and we have our own house, are you two going to come for dinner on the weekends?”

 

“Okay, dude,” Taeyong groans, and then shakes Youngho off, scrunching his face in disgust. “That’s the lamest question you have ever asked in your entire life. I’m not into this domestic shit. I want to spend the weekends with Doyoung suck-”

 

“Don’t finish that sentence, oh my god,” Youngho whimpers, trying not to imagine what his friends do in their intimacy.

 

 

 

 

“You look so fucking pretty.”

 

Pretty is an understatement though, in Youngho’s opinion, but he doesn’t have enough vocabulary to woo Taeil properly. It isn’t like Taeil isn’t aware of his own beauty, anyway, especially when he has Youngho wrapped around his finger at any time of the day. Besides, he has stopped using the suppressants as well, thus pheromones affect both of them equally, and Youngho hasn’t been that whipped in his entire life. Taeil is more skilled than him in hiding it in public, that’s clear, while behind closed door he begs and whines until Youngho gives into his requests.

 

Taeil’s room at the residence has changed notably. It’s still mostly filled with items provided by the pack, but between Youngho and Taeyong, they have bought some things Taeil likes, contributed with a bit of personality. It doesn’t matter much now, when Taeil will leave the residence soon to move in with Youngho to a humble house near the beach.

 

Taeil spins around, still smoothing his hair down, to glance with amusement at Youngho, who is lying on his bed. “Does it worry you?”

 

Everyone is aware that Youngho, the son of one of the most powerful alphas, has dropped his responsibilities to mate with an outsider. At least, that’s the assumption everyone made. Youngho would have left anyhow, with Taeil in the picture or not. So Youngho isn’t jealous, not often, because no one would dare to meddle between mates. Although Youngho’s jealousy hasn’t been put to test yet, he surely wouldn’t like if someone else hit on Taeil. The sentiment is probably shared.

 

“It turns me on,” Youngho concludes, raising a brow at him as a challenge.

 

Much to his disappointment, Taeil simply turns around, chuckling. “We should bond if we don’t want to be horny twenty-four hours of the day.”

 

Youngho can’t help but agree. As much as he likes it this way, it will be problematic when they both have a job. The only way for a couple to take control over their desires is to bond. Not that Youngho is afraid of committing, but it’s always an important step. “Are you complaining?”

 

“I’m certainly not,” Taeil jeers. He grabs Youngho’s jacket, which is discarded on the table, and throws it at him. “Let’s go. Sicheng’s mate is _excited_ to meet you.”

 

In despair, he groans at the reminder. They have been hanging out with Jaehyun’s friends since Youngho became free to roam around any place, and that includes Sicheng, who for some reason loves to stick to Youngho like he’s his lost father. That, or he’s vouching for his death, since he always goes home with Youngho’s scent on him and his omega mate is, according to everyone, a dangerous, jealous young male. Sicheng’s mate doesn’t like him. Sicheng’s mate is going to rip him open.

 

“Please, protect me,” Youngho mewls.

 

Taeil jumps on the bed right away, crawling until he’s sitting on Youngho’s stomach. He looks so small on top of him that Youngho only wants to undress him, have his tiny body under him and kiss his skin inch by inch. Taeil draws a mysterious smile, leaning down until his breath tickles Youngho’s lips. “Protect you? You need to be protected from this little omega that is going to devour you.”

 

Youngho grins like a fool.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read everything,  
> 1\. Congrats, you're a hero/ine  
> 2\. I'm sorry  
> 3\. Guess who is Sicheng's mate? :D  
> p.s. I ended up shipping johndo the most lol
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/renjucas)


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